About a month ago my ex-boyfriend dumped me and it was the worst feeling I had ever felt in my entire life. I had no idea what to do, how to think, I couldn’t even eat or get a good night’s sleep. I felt so lost and so hopeless. My days felt so long and meaningless.
Almost every day, every minute of the day I would think of something that reminded me of him and ball my eyes out. And the worst part of it all was that it would be only 1 pm and I had another nine hours before I was off to bed. But I didn’t feel like doing anything but sleeping and crying.
My family and friends would constantly call to check in on me making sure my mental status was sane. I assured them I was okay and that it was just my way of “getting over a breakup.” I knew deep down I was wasting away my days just sitting at home thinking about him crying and crying and crying.
It really was so pointless. He broke up with me and there was no going back and trying to fix things. Plus, you don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want you. Ya, know?
After almost the 2 weeks of doing nothing with my life, I decided to give my therapist a call. I wanted someone to chat with and I didn’t want to feel like a burden to my friends and family, as I was calling them almost every minute of the day crying my eyes out. It was tough. So I called up my therapist.
On the phone call, she had suggested I write my ex-boyfriend a letter. I thought she was insane. I said, “What are you kidding me…? Write him a letter? He wants nothing to do with me.” She informed me that it was more of a therapeutic writing exercise for myself and that I wouldn’t actually be mailing him the letter.
So one day while staying with my friend Rachel and her family, I decided to go out alone on an adventure around town. While in the car, I had an epiphany, “maybe it’s time I write that letter!” I went to the nearest Walgreens to purchase the cheapest notebook they had for sale then headed to the beach to write my ex the letter. I stayed hopeful while writing the letter to him.
I went through a series of emotions riding it like a roller coaster. When I started writing the letter to him, my emotions were heavy, I was crying while writing the letter and having trouble getting through it. But I pushed myself because I knew I would feel so much better once I got everything out that I wanted to say. I had no idea how writing my ex-boyfriend a letter that he will never see made me feel 110% better.
I feel like a totally different person. I really wish I knew about these writing exercises years ago because it would have made getting over other ex-boyfriends much easier.
Now, every day I make a conscious effort to journal whatever is on my mind and how I am feeling. It is kind of like a free therapy session with yourself. The reason I enjoy this so much is because you can be yourself and let go without feeling judged.
I highly recommend any of you that are going through some hard times in your life to consider journaling. It is really pretty incredible. You can be as open and honest in your journal as you please. Just remember, it’s just between you and your journal. Time for me to write in my journal!
Feature image by Hannah Olinger from Unsplash.