Sex Is Great, But The Aftercare Can Be So Much Better

There are many ways to show a  partner how much they mean to you. The obvious ones being gifts, going out for a nice dinner, intimacy, among other things depending upon you or your partner’s love language.

But let’s talk about something people don’t often think about. Aftercare.

If you read this article I wrote about getting it on in the bedroom with different ideas, then I highly recommend reading this one next!

Many people associate the term “aftercare” with the BDSM community, occurring after a “session” between the two partners. It could involve lots of taking time to unwind and reset from something that may have been tough in more than one way. However, aftercare is going to look different for everyone and isn’t just for those who live an eccentric lifestyle in the bedroom.

In the simplest terms possible, aftercare is self care involving you and your partner. 

It’s a time for you to both meet the others’ needs in whatever capacity and be able to talk about what occurred if you choose to. It’s a judgment-free zone and space to just be yourself.

Some might think that aftercare is similar to foreplay in the sense of “setting the mood.” To an extent, you’re right. There might be candles or soft music playing in the background while you’re lounging around, or whatever activity you’re engaging in. 

The difference is how effortless it is. You’re simply wanting to spend time with your person after everything and just unwind. You’re not focusing on anything important for a little bit and just enjoying being in the other’s presence. From a physical standpoint, it’s a time for your body to slow down and for the serotonin to flow throughout your body and just make you feel good. After all, we all love those feel-good hormones!

Ed Sheeran was right when he wrote the song “Afterglow.” People want to hold onto sex after it’s over and just remember the peace and serenity following it. If anything, this is the time when your bond with someone strengthens more than when you just had sex. We’ve all seen the “sex is great and all, but…” memes on social media.

I’ll say this: Sex is great and all, but aftercare is even more satisfying and intimate.

Granted, this will not be the same for those doing one-night stands, or possibly even friends with benefits situations. The whole concept is opposite of when someone “does the deed” and then leaves without any strings attached. There’s nothing wrong with that, but for those who want more validation and time with their person, aftercare is the way to go!

It doesn’t have to be for an extremely long time either. Whether it’s just an extra half hour of cuddling and watching a movie, or a long shower before having to go back to reality, the possibilities are endless and completely up to you! Are there any specific things you like to do as a form of aftercare? We would love to hear in the comments!

Photo from Unsplash


  1. There’s all the ads selling sex in addition to the actual product—the nice watch, the party, the romantic vacation, and the bottle of champagne. There’s TV shows and movies and songs and games and books—all promoting sex.
    There is no one-size-fits-all kind of relationship. How important sex is in your relationship with your true love is something only the two of you can answer — together. For me term “aftercare” is a nice part of our intimacy with my partner.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.