Whether you’re feeling like you and your partner are in a sexual rut or you’re simply trying to please them better, talking about sex is always awkward. Yes, you want to get your answers, but you don’t want to be embarrassed or make your partner feel bad. Even though you want to know if they’re still “feeling it” or what you can do better to spice things up, it can be a tough conversation to have.
I’ve never shied away from a casual conversation about sex, especially if I’m comfortable with my partner. I think it’s very important to have frequent discussions to ensure both parties are pleased. Your sex life can make or break your relationship for some people, so you should know these things rather than let your anxiety build up.
Here are some general questions to ask your partner about sex when your mind has been wondering about the subject.
When you want to please your partner more during sex, ask…
- Where do you want to cum?
- What feels best when you’re with me: your dick in my pussy, mouth or ass?
- Does hearing me moan actually turn you on? (*The answer is almost always yes — guys love that!)
- Do you have any fetishes I don’t know about?
- What turns you on that I do the most or best?
- Is there a room or place you want to bang in that you haven’t before?
- Which is your favorite position to fuck me in?
When you’re feeling self-conscious about your performance/body during sex, ask…
- Do you prefer pubic hair or when I’m clean-shaven?
- Which view do you like better, seeing my ass or my tits?
- Do you like when I talk dirty to you?
- Do you like doing it with the lights on or off?
- Are you a quickie or a long fuck type of person?
- Do you like it better when I’m loud or when I’m holding in my screams?
- What part of my body turns you on the most?
When you’re thinking of trying something new, ask…
- What position do you orgasm best in?
- What kind of lingerie do you think looks the sexiest on me?
- What’s the naughtiest thing you’ve ever thought about doing to/with me?
- What is your dream roleplay scenario?
- Do you like receiving nudes at work?
- Would you like to be woken up with oral?
- Is playing music something you’d be interested in?
When you really want to get kinky but are afraid of their reaction, ask…
- Do you want to incorporate toys into the bedroom?
- Would you ever tie me up or want to be tied up?
- Are you for or against being blindfolded?
- Would you ever role play in public?
- Would you want to see me kiss someone else?
- Do you want to try anal?
- Would you ever watch a porn of us fucking?
It’s not as hard to discuss sex if you have a few prompts. So it is helpful to think of what you want to get from the conversation, then decide what to ask and how you want to say it beforehand. As difficult and embarrassing as it might be to have these conversations, it will be worth it in the long run. Honesty and openness are always great policy when it comes to sex!