I’m Sorry For Not Showing You My Love When I Had The Chance

I hate to love you. I love to hate you. But you don’t deserve my sharp stares, my harsh judgments, my unkind words. You deserve nothing but my wholehearted love, so this is me saying “I’m sorry.”

This is me saying I’m sorry for berating you with every breath.

I’ve lashed my tongue out of pure, unfettered anger, belittling you even as you bring me to life. You are the vessel that holds me, bringing me peace and stability in the face of discomfort. I promise to shower you with kindness, letting my love wash over you, even on my darkest days.

This is me saying I’m sorry for denying you the space you deserve.

I’ve caged you, incessantly locking my eyes on you with every movement you make. I’ve wrapped my arms around you, ferociously caressing every inch of your being, wanting to let you go, unable to pull away. You are mine, and yet, you are your own, deserving of freedom from my constant gaze. I promise to let you soar, freeing you to bend to your wildest whims.

This is me saying I’m sorry for mistrusting you.

I’ve eyed you skeptically, wondering if you will ever support me as I’ve attempted to support you. I’ve waited for your inevitable betrayal, constantly worrying that at any moment, you will reveal the schadenfreude you’ve long tried to hide. You are my eternal companion, nurturing me through my crises, healing every inch of me. I promise to believe that you will always protect me, letting my insecurities wash away as I gaze into your eyes.

This is me standing in front of you, asking for your forgiveness. I will never absolve myself of the pain that I’ve inflicted upon you, but I hope that you will choose to step into a new future by my side. Together, we will heal, bridging the divide that threatened to break us.

This is me saying I’m sorry. I hope you accept me back into your heart and let me bind your wounds once again.

Previously published on Thought Catalog.

Featured Photo by Ashton Bingham on Unsplash.


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