Going through a breakup sucks.
There’s no way around it. Although it’s hard to do the dumping, it’s even harder to be on the receiving end. A breakup brings unbearable pain, no matter who you are. Your heart breaks and the next few weeks are filled with hurt, anger, and confusion as you struggle to adapt to living without your significant other.
As soon as you experience a breakup, there are a few important things you need to remember and life changes you need to make. All in an attempt to prevent the pain from consuming you. And trust me, it can.
I’ve been through plenty of breakups so I’ve compiled a list of 10 things you must do to help yourself heal during this difficult time:
It’s natural to be devastated. It doesn’t matter how long your relationship lasted. Losing someone you care about brings heartache and pain, regardless of how long you have known them. Never be ashamed of crying about your breakup or releasing your emotions. The ending of my four-month relationship was more painful than the breakdown of my one-year relationship. Pain is pain, and it is going to hurt. Let those feelings be truly felt.
2. Wallow in your misery.
You are allowed to stay home and binge watch Housewives and eat tubs of ice cream, but do that only for a certain amount of time because you need to live your life as a bold, confident woman. Your breakup may hit you the hardest, but it doesn’t have to define you forever. Set a timeline, say two weeks, and once that time has passed, put on your lipstick and pull yourself together.
3. Block your new ex on all forms of social media.
You may want to stay friends with them to give off the impression that you’re “fine,” but trust me, seeing them active on social media will only hurt you. You will overanalyze every picture, every status, and every like, and it will shatter your already fragile heart. Take my word for it and BLOCK THEM.
4. Go “no contact.”
This is IMPERATIVE. Do not talk to them for at least 30 days. I am a firm believer in this tactic, as it has helped me move on from some of my most painful breakups. You shouldn’t contact your ex in any way for at least 30 days. This includes texting, calling and stalking them on social media. You need these 30 days to heal emotionally because otherwise, you will never be able to move on.
5. Hang out with your friends!
They will instantly make you feel better and help put things into perspective. Lean on them and let them lift you up you during this difficult time.
6. Do things to better yourself.
Go to the beach, go shopping, do whatever makes you feel best. This is the greatest time to focus on doing what you love (and no, that does not include your ex).
7. Hit the gym!
Khloe Kardashian is the perfect example of how the gym can help your mind, body, and spirit. As she once famously said, “The best revenge is a good body.”
Hit your local bar and flirt with some cute singles! Flirting is harmless and will remind you of how much of a catch you are! I’m not saying you should jump in bed with the next guy that looks at you or search for a rebound, but you need to get back out there and see that you are still desirable and wanted.
9. Get rid of his things.
You do not need to hastily throw them out. Just pack them away or bury them at the bottom of your closet. One day, you will be able to look at them and cherish those memories.
10. Move on.
I know, easier said than done. You will never truly be able to move on if you continue to hold on to your resentment and anger towards your ex. It will only stop you from taking the next step forward. Have you ever heard the saying, “You can’t start a new chapter while re-reading the last one?” This applies to relationships as well.
Let your ex go so you can find the person you are meant to be with. I promise you that your soulmate is out there. Let your ex go, so you can find them and love again.