As I sit on the edge of my bed counting the distance between us, I’m thinking of how special those nights were for both of us. Thinking of it makes me bounce between euphoria and bliss. It makes my heart race and skip a crazy beat. Just thinking of it makes me blush, and fall in love a million times.
I want to go back to that hotel where I first saw you standing at the front door. You were like Richard Dean Anderson – a gentleman, rugged, and handsome with those beautiful sleepy-hooded eyes and I was like Gwen Stefani whose face was painted by rainbow colors.
I want to go back to that first night so I can do it all over again. The late night talk with you over a brandy, watching you as your heart strayed a little bit into your brain. I want to do it differently one more time. I want to hold you with all the love I feel. I want to see the spark of happiness in your eyes.
I want to go back to those times and kiss you like you are the only man I’ve ever kissed; to kiss you like we’re 16, a little bit tense and shy. To kiss you like that’s all we need and could ask for. To kiss you thinking that this first time of passionately kissing you might be the last time. I want to kiss you again and again, and then get lost with the sound of your breath and the rhythm of your heart under a shared blanket. I want to kiss you until I memorize the taste of your lips. To kiss you until we lose ourselves in our passion for each other and with helpless yearning. The kind of kiss that sends a shiver down to our spines, and a kiss with all the shattering tenderness while softly whispering each other’s name until a desire begins to roar through our entire bodies.
When was the last time you kissed me? I want to go back to that moment. The night when you last kissed me so we can do it one more time.
I want to go back to the times where I’m slipping through the cracks of the bathroom door like a ghost when you stay in it for too long. I want to feel the tip of your nose pressing on my forehead, my eyes and my cheeks, and to feel your hands softly sliding on my back while kissing me.
I want to go back so I can hear how you say my name and how it rumbled deep in my heart.
I want you to know that this is what I have wanted since I saw you the first time. I want to go back to the mornings and wake up to your kisses and your sweet smile. I want to feel you sleeping in between those crumpled sheets and hear the blow of your breath on my neck.
I want to go back to those early morning walks along the street, with you beside me. I want to see that grin on your face when I say something silly. I want to see that lopsided smile when I run to you and hug you tight from behind. To hear you say, ‘See you next time’ and that goodbye kiss you give before you walk out from the door.
My love, it doesn’t feel good without you. I want all days to be filled with your presence. I want to go back to you because you’re my home. I want to spend all the moments with you, just the two of us, only us.
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