Recently I was vocally venting about my current man problems to a friend and someone from across the room, who was not part of the conversation, felt the need to butt in. Mind you, I was not trying to keep anything a secret or had a hushed tone in order for him not to hear, but the way that he made himself a part of the conversation to interject his “grand opinion” on it made it feel like he was the great and powerful Oz from the Wizard of Oz. Not only is it frustrating, this is a person who doesn’t really know anything about me or the full situation, trying to give me advice on what to do next.
Excuse me sir, but when did I ask you for advice?
It is amazing to me the type of people that feel the need to share their opinion/advice with you when you don’t ask for it. They are the type of people that feel like they have their life together so much that they have all the answers to life’s problems (When they really don’t). The type of people that make you question if you are getting Punk’d or if this is just some other type of reality show, because there is no way in hell I can use any of that advice (Because it is terrible). These are the types of people that need to use that advice on themselves, but they feel that everything in their life is hunky dory (It really isn’t). And finally, these are the type of people that you want to help fix their lives, but know that they won’t listen to you (Because they only talk to listen to themselves and confirm their own advice to themselves).
While I know that I can be contradicting myself a little bit here (Considering that I write nothing but advice), there is something different to this situation. I feel the need to constantly talk about the mistakes that I and other people make as a learning experience, so that hopefully we can learn and grow from it together. I don’t go out there and vocalize my opinion to the world about individual lives unless you ask for it, because it is not someone’s place to do that. There is no one in the world that has their sh*t 100% together (Except for myself because obviously I’m absolutely perfect). We should be there for each other, support each other and at the end of the day, if you need someone to talk to, then by all means, call them on their sh*t. If they don’t ask for it though, don’t feel the need to give it to them.
Lesson to be learned: Unless someone asks for your advice, don’t give it. It is a nice gesture to be able to help someone in their time of need, but when you feel as though you are above them and have all of life’s lessons in the palm of your hand, you are going to come of like a hypocritical jack ass. When someone is already down, there is no need to put them down even further. No one has all of life’s answers and knows exactly the right advice to give to everyone, so don’t feel as though you are an exception to the rule. Lend a helping hand or an ear, but they don’t need your opinion unless it is asked for.
Featured image via Arash Payam on Unsplash