Why You Should Not Have To Justify Your Dating Habits

So, you meet a guy. He seems to be everything that you want in a partner: good looks, charms, and the brains to top it off. You go on a date. Dinner and drinks. Perfect. What a nice way to start a venture into a new relationship. Casual and chic. You talk. A lot. You get to know each other a little bit. The end of a euphoric night nears. He walks you to your front door. You are waiting for that moment of bliss – the first kiss. Everything has been going better than perfect if that is even possible. It must finally be your lucky day. He leans in and goes to kiss you. Suddenly the image of the perfect guy and your new temporary and hypothetical last name completely shatter as it appears he has the kissing skills of a salivating dog. You stop, thank him for the evening and respectfully close the door behind you. Then the pros and cons game begins in your mind. Half of you is thinking, “onto the next one!” whereas the other half is speed listing through all of the beautiful moments you shared during the evening. “Don’t be picky,” you think. Justifications, validations, and excuses then fly into the picture as you begin to analyze everything about this person. “Cmon, just don’t be picky. Give him another shot”, you think to yourself. But why can’t we be picky? Whether it is the kiss, the nonexistent chemistry, the constant need to give his political opinion, the food or gum chewing, whatever it is, why do we immediately have a moment where we feel that we constantly need to justify our compatibility with someone after a blimp or a bump occurs?

While it might seem a little bit unorthodox to just come right out and say it but ladies, you are not picky, you just know what you want. Just because you know exactly what you want in a person does not mean that you are a bad one. Some people get so caught up with trying to tread lightly and not hurt anyone’s feelings, which I personally am a huge example of. Honestly, at the end of the day, it is really more beneficial for both parties if you just get to the point and let them go. Yes, I know this kind of sounds like a f***girl technique, but that is not what I’m advocating for here. Even though guys do this quite often, the f-whatever is not the way to go.   

I am merely stating that if you know what qualities you want in a person that you may end up spending your whole life with, then do not sacrifice, do not compromise, and most certainly do not settle! With so many humans out there,  you will have that spark with, and you will fall in love with their peculiar quirks and mannerisms and traits. It sounds a tad shallow, but honestly, it isn’t. In fact, every person is unique and beautiful in their own way, but sometimes people just do not vibe well together. That is just the way it is my friends.

So stop trying to actively change your mind about something or someone and go with that gut instinct of yours as it is usually always right. We sometimes know logically and “on paper” someone may seem like the best “fit” for our lives. That is not always the case. As cliche as it sounds, it’s important to follow your heart and do what you need to do. If it isn’t working, it is most certainly for a reason.

Featured image via Christopher Campbell on Unsplash


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