There is something about the anticipation of doing something new. There is this excitement that builds in you that you don’t know whether you want to dance with joy or vomit from all the butterflies taking over. There is this tremendous nervousness that makes you want to scream, but it also makes you want to cry tears of happiness. There is also this fear – a fear that the expectation of whatever it is that you are doing is not going to live up to what you think it is going to be. That you are setting the bar a little too high for this that you can’t help but think, “what if I fail?” It is that good kind of fear that we should note and take it with a leap of faith as we jump head first into the unknown.
All my life, I have wanted more for myself. I know that might sound like something weird to say, considering all you have to do is just go out there and get it, but sometimes it takes more than that to actually feel like it. I have always had this cloud over my head telling me to be realistic, to take the path ahead of me, to do what everyone else does and make sure that you don’t veer too far into the unknown. With the kind of mentality of being told to keep your head on shoulders and not to reach too high, there wasn’t really a lot of space to grow or try new things. It put this fear in me not to try new things because they might not live up to my expectations of them or worse, I might not succeed. The problem was, I was sitting on the sidelines watching my life go by and wishing my life way. It wasn’t until recently that I realized all I had to do to feel better about this underlying fear was get out there and actually do it.
Take a step forward to making a small change and then let myself work up to the bigger things.
I have always wanted to be a writer, so I started writing short pieces. Gradually I worked up to my blog and writing for a few different sites. Now, I am working on writing a book (coming to an E-Book near you around 2056). I have always wanted to do volunteer work, so I looked into volunteering at an animal shelter. I started by helping to plan events and fundraisers for a local animal shelter. Now I find myself searching out other ways to help out in my community and volunteer with other charities. And finally, my biggest challenge, running a half marathon. I am literally screaming inside while writing this.
I have always wanted to do it but always told myself that I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until I saw that I could run for the Humane Society that I realized, I needed a purpose bigger than myself to do it. I literally could incorporate all of the new things that I was doing for myself and know that I was ready. I am so nervous, excited, terrified and any other wild emotion you can think of that comes to mind. To me, this is one of my bucket list goals. This is something that I have been working on physically for months, but mentally for years. I have always wanted to be a runner and now I am finally doing it (And for a good cause!). There is this euphoric energy that I have when I think about it because when I look back, I realize just how far I have come.
I leave you with this: for years, I put off trying new things because I didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t think I would ever be ready. I didn’t think I could handle it. I psyched myself out from living because I was too afraid of change. It wasn’t until I looked at the bigger picture that I saw how much I was holding myself back. I was literally missing out on everything I wanted to do in life because I was afraid of the unknown. Now that I have taken that first step,
I am not afraid anymore.
It is a new month. That means, open yourself up to a new challenge. It doesn’t have to be big, just try something new. It doesn’t have to be life altering, just do something different. It doesn’t have to be mind blowing to anyone, just let it be a step in the right direction for you. All it takes is that first step!
Feature Image via Black Girls Travel Too.