Ever since I was in high school, I knew I didn’t want kids. I always found it strange how many women dream of the white picket fence, 1.8 kids, and a mini van. To me, that sounds like hell on earth. So cliché, so cookie cutter, I have never wanted anything to do with it. I just don’t want to have children and especially the responsibility of them. Older people give me the “oh you’re so naïve look” and then tell me just wait I’ll eventually want them. Actually, you’re wrong. I’ve always known what I want and it’s never been children. I’m 24 and only getting older. For all the ladies who don’t desire children, or maybe the people who don’t understand why their friend doesn’t, please let me enlighten you.
I am no stranger to responsibilities. I was completely independent at the age of 22. With that being said, I am very particular in what I commit to. When I commit I give my 100%, I don’t half ass anything. But with all responsibilities, you get time off. With a kid, honey, no such thing. You are responsible for everything, what they eat, what they are doing, their grades, you have to pay for medical bills, sports, clothes, you get the picture. I can’t commit to something that overwhelming.
- You never get time to yourself
I have a few friends that are new mothers and they said it’s a treat when they find time to shower. Really shower? This is a basic necessity. I can’t have someone so dependent on me where I literally have to compromise my hygiene. What about in the morning when you need to get ready, pick out your clothes, put some makeup on, and do your hair? I can’t give that time up. I’m sorry, but that’s asking way too much to give up.
- Fear of messing them up
Ask anyone why they think or act the way they do and it probably has something to do with their parents. A lot of people mess their kids up. I don’t want to be like that. Even the people with the best parents have issues. I have issues because my father never told me I was beautiful. I have issues because I will never be good enough for my mother. We’re eventually going to mess up, and I can’t do that knowing I could change them forever.
Say bye-bye to spontaneous trips or being able to move wherever. Once you have kids when you consider moving, instead of looking at the cool new restaurants in the area, you are concerned with silly things like the best schools and nearby children’s museums. I think I just puked in my mouth. The last thing I want to do is be on the board of the PTA and drive Jimmy to his soccer game.
Children take all your money. You have to pay for everything they do. I’m not okay with spending all this money all the latest clothes, and gadgets. Imagine how much college tuition is now and multiply it by 4000 and you’ll probably have 2042 tuition rates.
- The second shift
The second shift is for working mothers. Most families are dual income, so the mother’s work too. But when they come home from work, they aren’t getting time off. They have to make dinner, help the kids with homework, and clean the house. Studies have shown that men aren’t doing their fair share. I can’t do this. Even if I had an amazing husband who shares equal responsibilities it seems like you never get a break.
Children are just not for me and these reasons just confirm why I will not change my mind. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids. My niece is my favorite person in the world, but just because I love them doesn’t mean I want to have them some day. Children are not for everyone, and that is ok, so stop looking at your friends weirdly when they tell you so.
Featured Image via Brandy Melville.