To Everyone Who’s Asking Why I’m Still Single

“All the time you’ve spent, all places you’ve been to, yet you’re still single. Why haven’t you found someone?”

Whether they speak them or not, people always aim these words at me. Comments about my love life always aggravate me since I never complain about being single in the first place. People think that not caring about finding “the one” makes me ignorant, especially as a millennial in the prime of my life. Well, allow me to explain why I don’t care.

Being single gives me a great advantage: the prerogative to outrageously live without limits and boundaries. I do whatever I want without the reminder that she’s at home. I’m free to get along with as many girls (and guys) as I want without being preached about what loyalty is. I focus less on how to satisfy people and do what makes me happy. I’ve learned to appreciate who I really am and embrace myself casually.

I don’t want to feel like I have to act a certain way to gain attention or be untrue to myself to please someone else. If someone likes me, they will approach me. If someone loves me, they will accept me as I am because I live authentically. When I finally meet “the one,” I won’t expect her to change either. I will love who she already is for I treasure who I already am.

I almost always find something lovable in everyone I meet. Everyone has qualities that make them attractive to me. I readily embrace people for who they are. I’m never completely certain of my feelings, and sometimes wonder if it’s love or lust, but I have so much love to give. Does this make me shallow? No, it does not.

Imagine every time I like it then I should’ve put a ring on it. I might be having relationships with hundreds of girls and boys to this date. I’m sorry, Bey, but I gotta disagree. Until I finally understand my feelings clearly, though, the finger will remain bare.

In reality, I am simply not ready for a serious romance right now. I am still trying to find my way to a financially stable life. I’d never ask someone to commit to a lifetime with me considering how I currently live my life. I can’t force someone to live a life that isn’t prosperous, and I’m not exactly living in  milk and honey as it stands. Before I pledge myself to someone, I want to be prepared to provide.

No, I haven’t met her yet… because I’m choosing to not meet her today. People may have different opinions on my decision to wait for love, and that’s OK. For now, I’m choosing to live my life and enjoy it without looking for “the one.”

Baby, if I’m not yet ready for myself, then I don’t want you to be ready for me, either.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

3 COMMENTS

  1. […] While I’ve been single, I’ve realized how much more time I have for myself. I’m able to pursue my interests, my passions, and put myself first. Too often in relationships, we lose a portion of ourselves to our significant other. Whether it’s organically or it’s a slow, but deliberate effort from your other half to strip you of your identity […]

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