If Your Relationship Is Missing This, It Won’t Last

You know when you meet a person and you just click with them? It’s like everything you say, they get it right away. They can become your best friend in a matter of minutes and you sit there and think, “dang, this is so easy.” You don’t even have to think about what to say next because you can feed off of what they are saying and every conversation flows.

You can sit for hours with this person and talk. Every new detail you learn about their life keeps making them better and you can relate to everything they are saying on a personal level. Everything works somehow and you end up thinking, “Why isn’t every conversation I have this meaningful”

Yeah, this connection wasn’t like that.

Our friendship, our relationship, whatever you want to call it, it wasn’t exactly hard. It wasn’t like we never had anything to talk about. It wasn’t that awkward. We had the same group of friends and the same interests so we could always make small talk. But it wasn’t easy. On some level, our interactions always felt forced, like we knew we should be able to have the right conversations but were either too guarded or too scared to say the things that would get us there. It was like we both saw the potential for greatness but neither of us were willing to go deep enough to reach it. There just wasn’t that spark.

I liked him and he liked me and we had fun hanging out but there was never that crazy kind of love. It was never the kind of love that set you on fire. It was just the kind that was there. It was the kind that made logical sense and logic doesn’t produce magic. As my friend would say, it wasn’t the kind of love you write poetry about.

And I never realized that until my computer crashed. It more or less overheated but I was in the middle of attempting to write a paper and the whole thing went black. Needless to say, I totally freaked. I ended up frantically bringing it to the help desk and I felt more of a connection with the guy trying to fix my computer than I did when sitting for an hour with him.

I didn’t even know this tech’s name. I’d known his name for years. I knew nothing about this random dude. I knew a lot about the boy I spent so long trying to force a relationship upon. I had more of a spark with a total stranger, which is crazy when you think about it.

As human beings, we generally gravitate towards what’s the most comfortable and familiar to us. But this idea of the spark changes that for some reason. You end up with the guy you never thought you would have any connection with simply because you felt something real for once. You felt a tiny piece of that attraction that drives people crazy. That’s what the spark is. That’s why people believe in things like love at first sight. We all crave it in our relationships but don’t know what it is until it’s right in front of us.

We all, on some level, are just waiting to fall in love at first sight. We see it happening. We know the fairy tales. And we know that it’s out there. We know that it could happen with the guy you pass walking to class or the one that catches your eye in the crowded house party. All it takes is that one spark and that’s it, right? You two fall in love and live happily ever after, just like you always thought you would. That’s how the spark works right?

Now, I’m not saying I fell in love with some rando guy that fixed my computer for me. If anything, I had a large amount of gratitude for the kid that saved my computer, and therefore, my life. But it just goes to show you that all it takes is one interaction with someone to totally change the way you look at another person. All it takes is one spark with the right person and you will never go back to something that isn’t a mad, crazy love that makes no sense to anyone.

The spark is so important because, without it, you will just be in a love that makes sense. You will be in a love that isn’t purely about the individual person. It will be a love that’s about the idea of a person, a love that is convenient.

I don’t want that kind of love. I want a love that stems from a random interaction on the bus or in the library. I want a love that drives me crazy and won’t make sense. I want a love that I can’t sit down and logically think through. I want a love that is started with one spark.

Because that’s the kind of love that people end up fighting for.

Featured image via Gustavo Fring on Pexels


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