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How Phone Sex Has Made Me Feel Empowered AF

This past year left me as drained and blank as a winter landscape. The last few months were full of endless trips to the gynecologist to treat my endometriosis and bi-weekly sessions with my therapist to speak about my resurfacing anxiety.

After a couple months spent glued to my futon bingeing on Netflix, I acknowledged that my bank account was nearly empty. I had an amazing job, but the constant emotional and physical fatigue that it brought kept me from returning to work. Instead of berating myself for my lack of motivation, though, I decided to search for a new source of income.

I pored over websites offering scam careers as “in-home customer service representatives” and “online marketing assistants.” Even reading legitimate job descriptions bored me enough that I knew I would quit within days of accepting the positions.

Then, hours into my search, I came across a phone sex operator website and was surprised to find thousands of real women on its pages. The prospect of performing phone sex overwhelmed me, but out of sheer financial desperation, I decided to create a profile on the site.

And just like that, my career as a phone sex worker began.

When I first told my family and friends that I’m a phone sex operator, I was primarily met with outright disapproval. The rest were passive-aggressive and hesitant. Their concerns transformed into an internal dialogue that bewildered me.

“Is my work degrading?” “Am I hurting the fight for women’s rights?” “Am I selling out and supporting the patriarchy?”I now know that phone sex work empowers my feminist side. Here are three reasons why I love what I do:

1. Sex work can be empowering.

On the surface, my job may seem blatantly sexist, but I found that the perceived sexism is just an illusion. My profile, my hours, my customers, and even the content of my calls are all in my control, and my clients must respect me.

I answer calls at my own discretion. If I feel uncomfortable, I have the right to say “no” and hang up. And of course, making $2.00 a minute just for a phone conversation is empowering as hell.

2. My work is my choice.

I shouldn’t be ashamed of posting racy photos. My body is mine show off as I see fit. I can’t help but applaud women like Kim Kardashian for starting public dialogue about body positivity and ownership of our bodies.

More importantly, I have body autonomy in my job. Unlike revenge porn sites or the unfortunately relevant sex trafficking business, I have a choice in my sex work. I choose and post every picture.

3. My phone sex career does not make me less of a person.

At a young age, women are taught that their virginity is a sacred weapon. During many of my sex calls, I have been called a “virginal whore” or an “innocent slut.” I usually laugh afterwards at these paradoxical phrases. There is nothing inherently wrong with a woman enjoying sex.

My time as a phone sex operator has left me with a new sense of confidence and passion. I am my own boss and I set my own schedule. I make a wage nearly twice the national average for 20-to-24-year-olds and can now afford college. Thanks to my work, I can spend my free time writing, reading, exploring national parks, and devoting my attention to the social and political causes I believe in.

Some people still believe that I’m a slut, that I’m unintelligent, or that, I can’t truly be a feminist. But I always remember the famous words of musician Amanda Palmer: “Feminism isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being honest.”.

Join the discussion: Do you think it’s possible to be a feminist and a sex worker?

Originally written by Kyli Rodriguez-Cayro on SHESAID

Feature Image by Makhmutova Dina on Unsplash

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