We are forever drawn to that one Hollywood starlet.
The Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman or Emma Stone in Easy A. The starlet that shows you her sensitivity and grace, her femininity and her hidden strength. Moviegoers are collectively awestruck by the girl next door who teaches her damaged love interest how to love with an open heart (Think Fifty Shades of Grey…without the PG 13 scenes).
And then, on the other side of the equation, you have us, commonly known as the “guarded” women. Which, when said out loud, seems like the ultimate paradox as the word “guarded” commonly goes hand in hand when talking about men. In the movie of real life, everyone is eager to change and break the guarded boy; all while the guarded girl is written off as nothing more than damaged goods, with no one patient enough to break her Berlin Wall to see the beauty she has to hide.
So, if we attempted to break down the guarded girl with the same perseverance we invest into the guarded boy – what truth would we find?
Let me clarify five things you should know about the “guarded” girl:
1. She’s not closed off; she’s just protecting herself
I was more than often called “cold.” Which, to be honest, I don’t blame anyone but myself for. My inability to express emotion may stem back to insecurities hidden in the depths of my heart and soul, yet I can say with certainty that I, as most guarded individuals, am far from cold.
On the contrary – we’re just adapted to protect ourselves.
Whether it’s to protect our emotional scars from being exposed, or to prevent our hearts from breaking into a million pieces, there’s always a reason. But once you get to know a girl who has her guard up, you’ll learn that she is one of the most deep, caring, and lovable people you’ll ever meet.
2. She isn’t bitter; she just knows better
It hurts to say that I never believe a guy when he says his intentions are pure.
How do I know he’s there (in The Bachelor terms) “for the right reasons?”
The fear of being taken advantage of is embodied in every guarded girl who leaves her questioning the intentions of everyone she meets.
She knows things aren’t always as they seem, and the prettiest of people can do the ugliest of things.
3. She’s not emotionally unavailable, she just doesn’t want to get hurt
The pain of her last bad relationship, her last betrayal, keeps her from reaching out so naïvely to the next heartbreak.
So, next time she doesn’t say “I love you” straight back – give it time. A guarded girl may seem emotionally unavailable, yet all she’s really doing is trying to keep herself from getting hurt.
Because, as tough as she may seem to the naked eye, she’s sensitive AF on the inside.
4. Let her set the pace, and follow her lead
When I say “let her set the pace,” I truly mean it. The guarded girl doesn’t respond well to games or pressure. She needs to trust you before taking the next step. Commonly, she’ll take it slow, but that’s only because she’s picky about who she lets into her life. She knows what’s best for her, and she’ll want to protect herself before she’s sure that you’re meant to be in her life.
5. She wants to love just as much as anyone else
The most beautiful part to loving a guarded girl is this: when she lets you in, it’s not because she needs you. She stopped needing people a long time ago. It’s because she wants you. The guarded girl may have hidden demons trapped inside her soul, or a rebellious side that’s yet to show – but that’s the beauty of her character. There’re so many pieces of the puzzle to her that each layer will introduce you to her personality filled with kindness, love, and affection.
So, if she lets you in her life, don’t take it for granted. She has a quiet confidence that no one can ever take away. She’s strong, but sensitive. So wait, and you’ll discover a girl like no other.
Featured Image via Anna Heupel