There are a good handful of reasons why I have a hard time dragging myself to the gym every evening. I’m tired, I’ve had a really long day, and I know that I’m going to be ogled by more than one guy. It may be flattering the first time, but by the end of the night, it’s straight up uncomfortable to work out. I feel like I can’t squat without you fellas eye-f*cking my ass.
Here are 30 thoughts that run through every girl’s head when she runs to the gym:
- Okay, do I wear the cute shorts and cut-out tank that shows off my new sports bra? Hell yes.
- Wait. No. Way too many guys. Ew.
- Ugh, but I want to look cute.
- Screw it. I’m wearing it. I have to look cuter than the rest of the girls. It’s an unspoken rule.
- Why do all the guys here look like they’d want me to call them “daddy”?
- Put on a shirt.
- Whatever, I’m here to work out.
- Holy crap, I’m out of shape. I need to come in more often.
- Why do I never work out? I am dying.
- Man, I love these reverse leg curls. My booty is gonna be so – how long has that guy been looking at me?
- Okay, I’ll just pull out my phone and pretend to text someone until he looks away.
- Okay, only one more rep, I don’t want that to happen again.
- Hello squats, goodbye saddlebags.
- Why are these guys looking at me like I can’t handle my weights? I can handle my weights.
- Yeah, look surprised.
- Damn my ass looks fine.
- No, please stop. Stop staring.
- Now you’ve ruined my form, because I’m focusing on the fact that you’re staring into my soul. Through my butt.
- Fine, whatever, I’ll just go do cardio.
- There are 70 ellipticals in this gym, and 90% of them are empty. So why do guys feel the need to come be on the one close to me?
- Please stop looking at my boobs.
- Okay fine, my workout is over.
- There aren’t any guys in the cool down area. Score. Now my ass will be oggle-free.
- No. No. Leave. This is a girl-only gym.
- Hey, that’s a golden idea. Why don’t they have girl-only gyms?
- Not that I’m sexist. But ya’ll are staring down my shirt.
- Okay, are my pants SEE THROUGH? That’s the only reason you’d be allowed to stare at my ass this much.
- Fine, I guess I’m done stretching.
- I’m working out at home tomorrow.
I know that this doesn’t happen every single time we go to the gym ladies. But, let’s be real. It happens more often than we’d like. And even if you’re wearing the baggiest of T-shirts and sweats, some guy is bound to be staring and some sort of exercise will make it tight against something I don’t like. Plus, why on earth do I want to be forced to dress ugly to go to the gym? I’m doing this for me, not for the guys.
Guys, keep your eyes to yourself at the gym. Your little shorts aren’t helping you hide your boner.