I’m not new to the relationship world. I understand how it works, how to manage it, and the extent to which others feel about it. I have been in a long-term committed relationship for five years now, and this is not a small number to just play around with. However, throughout the extent of my relationship, I have always struggled with outside people trying to get involved.
When you become close with certain people, roommates, best friends, anyone, they will start to see more of your relationship the longer they are around. This isn’t a bad thing. It is nice to have someone else who knows the situation that you can talk to, someone who understands. What isn’t okay, is when people get too involved in matters that don’t concern them.
Does your significant other have that person that is constantly involved? Someone who thinks that they have every right to be just as invested in the relationship as the two individuals who are actually in it? If so, it is time to watch out for these people because they are detrimental to the health of the bond you and your significant other have.
The problem stems from the fact that there are people in this world who believe that they have the right to be just as emotionally invested in someone else’s relationship. What these people need to realize is that a relationship is between two people only. This third party needs to be told from you that:
My relationship is between me and my significant other only.
No matter what, having a third voice is a problem for various reasons. For example, sometimes a third party in a relationship will feel the need to start speaking on your significant other’s behalf. I have had a third party tell me what my boyfriend wants, what he likes, and how he feels about things. As if five years into our relationship I wouldn’t already know these things I am being told. This is immensely frustrating on my end.
Another issue with a third party is that communication between you and your significant other can get misconstrued. Imagine one person in between the two of you who is telling each of you different stories and making comments. This is a problem. If this third party can cause issues between your communication between you and your significant other, the other person needs to be told to stop. Communication is the most important part of a relationship, so to have issues in this area is very harmful to the success of a relationship.
If your significant other is important to you, and your relationship together means the world, it is time to make sure that your relationship consists only of the two of you. Whether a third party is coming on your end or theirs, you need to cut that off before it festers. I have allowed a third person to be involved before, and I allowed it to happen for a long time. This caused many issues in my relationship. So before it gets to that point, take your pair of scissors and cut that shit loose. Your relationship is between you and your lover, and you two ONLY.
Featured image via WeHeartIt.