Why We Need To Redefine What A Relationship Actually Means

What is wrong with us, us as people, us as a society, us as us. Why do we do this? What is the point? What is the point in trying to create a life with someone who doesn’t want the same? What is the point of trying your hardest to get someone’s attention? Why do we try so hard when we see they aren’t trying at all? Why do we humans do this? Why are we attracted to those who are not attracted to us? These questions can go on for this entire article but for the sake of time, I’ll stop there.

I keep hearing, seeing, and being in all these relationships where they aren’t actually relationships, but I don’t understand it. You will spend all your time being with them, being available for them, trying for them, and putting yourself on the line, all for them. We all do these crazy things for one person’s attention of whom will one day say “we weren’t even dating.” What is wrong with us, us as people, us as a society, us as us?

I hate the way we are supposed to spend months upon months getting to know someone, spending all your time with them, and just learning about them for it to all get thrown back in your face. Don’t get me wrong with this piece, because I am a person who accepts and loves having relationships, but I cannot get over the fact that some relationships apparently don’t even count.

You see a relationship is anything based around a conversation. I could talk to a stranger on the side of the road and it would become a relationship. A relationship of where two strangers can communicate and create a conversation that leads to a relationship between each other. A relationship can mean friendship, a relationship can mean dating, a relationship can mean being acquaintances. Having a relationship is defined by the people who are involved in the relationship, and not just one party either, it can be interpreted differently from each person. But do not say “we weren’t even dating” in hopes it means we weren’t in a relationship. I have hundreds of relationships, as does everyone else, but referencing the word “relationship” as a term you have to wait around for is false.

I have a relationship with my boyfriend, I have a relationship with my siblings, I have a relationship with my dog, I have a relationship with my friends, I even have a relationship with my readers, that’s just how it works – at least in my head.

I hate the fact that in today’s society if you do not say “will you go out with me” means you’re not in a relationship. Like, what does that even mean? So all the time we spent together, all the late night conversations, all the effort, all the time apart, means we weren’t dating? WTF was I doing then? Because to me if that is the way we are supposed to look at life, then why do we even bother communicating? Every person we meet influences us in some way but if we can not consider them as a relationship, then what is it?

I couldn’t and still can’t understand the whole “talking” situation. When you spend all your time talking to one another, when you spend your waking moments thinking about one another, when you’d do anything for one another, I don’t think that can be referenced by talking. I talked to my dog this morning – that’s a bit of a difference than a relationship with a human being. I think the word talking needs to be put back into its original definition so we can start dating and stop talking. I find it funny if I am being completely honest. If we turn relationships into talking, what exactly is a relationship, and what exactly does not talking mean? When you care for someone and can not see yourself without that person, why do we reference that as talking? We need to stop, it doesn’t make sense.

As for myself, I am going to have loads of relationships. The ones where I love people, the ones where I communicate with people, the ones where I can make love to people, and the ones who I can rely on all the time- because those are relationships. But shh, don’t tell that to society. So I guess what I am trying to say is that don’t let anyone tell you whether or not you had a relationship because guess what… if you spoke to one another, you did. And for the people who believe relationships are only considered relationships if you ask the little question of will you be my girlfriend, you’re wrong. If we followed that logic, my five-year-old cousin would have eight relationships going on right now. So let’s kick that word “talking’s” ass and get back to having relationships and being okay with them starting but them also ending because that is what relationships are meant to be like.

Featured image via Jeremy Banks on Unsplash


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