More often than not, people say that you need to be friends with as many people as possible to survive the loneliness of your 20s. Building your network is a must and it is one of the ways for you to be successful in the future. Society seems to think that being friends with many people means that you are a successful human being. They say that it’s better for you to be friends with anyone and it’s not good to be friends with only the same type of people. Moreover, you should be the one who approaches people to build the connections.
I do agree that you need to meet as many people as you can, but I disagree that you need to be friends with all of them.
As you grow up, you will understand that friendship is not all about sharing smiles and greetings. It’s not just about discussing your college assignments or talking about the final projects in your class. The friendships and relationships that you build need to be more than those surface level conversations about your major or the environment in your hometown. People need to understand the difference between being friends and faking.
In your 20s, you will realize that true friendship is about giving your trust to the people who you choose to spend your time with. You will understand that true friendship is not about those who you think are cool or those who have million followers and friends in their social media accounts. Friendship in your 20s is the relationship that you build as you notice how deep you let them know about your true self; those fears you never confront, those scars which hard to be healed, and those hidden passion that you never told anyone but them. True friendship in your 20s is about the comfort and the warm feeling that you get when you can share your problems and your biggest mistakes with them without being judged. The connection that you build with those you called friends has to be deeper than fake smiles and cheesy conversations just to break awkwardness.
At the end of the day, you will realize that friends are different from acquaintances and you can’t force everyone you meet to be your friend.
It’s normal for you to choose your friends and decide who you want to spend your time with.
Choosing your friends does not make you a selfish person.
The more you meet people, the more you realize that you don’t need thousands of people to feel fulfilled; you just need one or two people close to your heart. In your 20s, please don’t waste your time on people who see friendship as something shallow. Find people who have the willingness to dig deeper until they find your darkest side, but they’re totally okay with it. Find those people who don’t make you hide your tears as those bad days hit you hard. Find those people who won’t define you as pretty, but as a lovable person because they value your heart and not your physical appearance; you need to build relationships with sincerity and generosity as the foundation.
When you find those people, hold them tight and keep them safe in the back of your memory and your heart, because we don’t know how long the universe will make them stay. Embrace every moment you spend with them and never take them for granted, because in your 20s, it is so hard to meet the people who make you feel at home. At the end of the day, you will realize that it is never about the quantity of people you meet, but the quality of friendship and love that you share for one another.
Featured Image via Ariel Rae