Years ago, I came out as bisexual, but I’ve struggled with identifying my sexuality before then. Since high school, I started noticing my feelings change and considered the fact that I wasn’t actually heterosexual, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself.
But like any part of you, you can’t ignore it, and I found myself unable to deny this part of my identity anymore. While coming out terrified me, it also liberated me in so many ways. Since I officially came out – both to others and myself – my life has only gone up from there in several little ways. Here are just a few ways my life has improved.
1. I’ve grown more confident in myself
Coming out made me realize that other people’s opinions don’t matter; the ones who truly care about me won’t care if I’m bi or not, and that gives me freedom to feel confident in myself. I was hesitant to come out because of my own internalized biases, but now I’m not. While I still worry how people will look at me every now and then, I’m much more comfortable with who I am. I’m too busy living my life to want to change for someone else.
2. I’m a better friend
Because I’m more comfortable with myself, I’m able to help my friends in ways I couldn’t before. When I say that my friends deserve love and respect, I can say it with conviction because I believe that I deserve love and respect, too. My words aren’t platitudes; they’re my new life philosophy.
3. I’m a better feminist
Feminism is all about deconstructing gender norms, and that’s inherent when you’re a queer person. Embracing my sexuality has allowed me the freedom to express myself for who I truly am, regardless of anyone’s idea on how I’m supposed to act. And that’s exactly what feminism advocates for: the freedom to live your life without societal restrictions on what’s “right” or “wrong.”
4. I’m a stronger advocate
Before I was afraid to speak up against discrimination and prejudice against the queer community, but now I’m not. You don’t get to have an opinion on who someone is as a person. I’ll fight for as long as I have to for us to be seen, heard, and treated like people.
5. I feel happier
When I went to my first ever pride event years ago, I was so happy to see all the love and support around me that the energy was almost infectious. Even now, when I proudly announce my sexuality or joke about fitting in a bisexual stereotype, it brings a genuine smile to my face. I love that I’m bisexual, just like I love that I’m a writer and anything else about myself.
Everyone should be allowed to come out only when they’re comfortable.
If you’re not there yet, that’s okay. But I hope that, regardless if you’re out or not, if you’re figuring out your sexuality or not, you realize that you’re worthy of love because you’re a living breathing person like everyone else.
Feature image by Mikael Blomkvist on Pexels
