We live in a world where productivity is viewed as success. In our society, the more you do, the “better” you are. Almost everyone has a side hustle, and when you aren’t working, you’d better participate in some type of activity. This constant need to produce and participate leads to a culture that doesn’t just expect burnout; it celebrates overcommitting to everything.
When we speak to our colleagues and friends, it can feel like a competition. Did your coworker spend an extra two hours working? Then you’d better spend an extra four hours on your hardest work project so that you can prove your ability to work even harder than they did. Did you spend a weekend relaxing at home while your friends went to fitness classes, street festivals, and brunch? Chances are that you’ll feel terrible about yourself for not doing as much as they did.
We have to stop perpetuating the idea that overcommitting equates to success and happiness. No one should feel the need to work and socialize 24/7. We aren’t robots; we require rest in order to function properly. You can still live a full life without having to occupy every single second of it.
Saying “no” to extra work opportunities and plans with your friends can feel scary, especially in our social-media-dependent world.
But you can’t do it all.
The first step in no longer overcommitting yourself is to recognize that you can’t do it all because you’re human. At some point, you’ll break. No one can run on empty forever, and often, the consequences you face when you burn out are far worse than they would be if you had just said “no” to extra obligations in the first place. The sooner you accept that you have limited time, the happier you’ll be.
Next, you need to prioritize what you need to do over what you’d like to do. If you can identify specific tasks that you need to accomplish each day, you’ll be able to focus your time on what matters the most in any given moment. What do you absolutely have to accomplish at work today? Which household chores do you need to do? Which errands do you need to run? What do you need to do to decompress?
Choosing specific times to complete specific tasks can be incredibly helpful. This is especially true for anyone who works from home. The more structured your day is, the easier it is to visualize what you can realistically accomplish. When you’re stressed, it’s easy to fall into the habit of working extremely long hours to increase your productivity. However, those long workdays will soon catch up with you. Giving yourself a cutoff time to stop working helps ensure that you won’t overwhelm yourself and that you also have some time left for self-care.
The most important way to stop overcommitting yourself is to become comfortable with saying “no.”
You can turn down extra work opportunities without worrying that others will forget about you. You can say “no” to plans that genuinely don’t interest you. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong. Saying “no” is one of the best ways that you can take care of yourself. Knowing your limits for work and social activities means that you watch your physical and mental health.
We overcommit out of fear of rejection, disappointment, and abandonment. Then, we end up hurting ourselves in the process. Anyone who truly cares about you will understand when you need to say “no.” They won’t hold a cancellation against you. You’ll have more opportunities to work hard. Just remember that saying “no” in a world that puts so much pressure on saying “yes” is admirable.
Living in constant burnout is no way to go through life. The sooner you begin to choose yourself over the way that you appear to others, the sooner you will truly be able to enjoy your life.
Featured Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash.
