Our generation is known for having a difficult time with relationships, so whenever I come across something that really helps with communication in relationships, I love to tell everyone about it! This isn’t anything new, but I think it is something that not everyone has heard of: it’s called the 5 love languages. This is based on the amazing book the 5 Love Languages. This book goes through and explains how people like to feel loved and what makes them feel the most loved. How we communicate can easily break down into these categories:
1. Physical Touch
Holding hands, hugs, kissing, etc. Breaking the touch barrier is a huge step in any romantic or platonic relationship. If this is not a romantic relationship it could be as simple as just touching that person’s shoulder or their arm. For some this is the most important language as without physical touch, they can feel unloved. Physical touch provides a sense of comfort in the relationship that words often cannot.
2. Acts of service
This could be doing the dishes, cleaning the house, or making someone breakfast. All are physical acts that help the other person or benefit them in some way. Giving someone a break from their normal household chores shows them that you want to help take care of them.
3. Quality Time
This means one on one time, when you really can just sit down with the other person, look into their eyes, and talk. People who value quality time need this because you are showing them that they are the priority. This is not when you are with a group of people, or just chilling at your house while everyone is on their phone. Phones can be a distraction from the person you are with and it’s showing them your phone is more of a priority then they are.
Gifts are anything that you present to the other person. Giving gifts shows you are thinking of that person. You are paying attention to things they like, so you can present them with something that will make them feel loved. I don’t know any woman who would turn down a diamond ring, but don’t be worried if you don’t have a lot of money. This could be as inexpensive as some nail polish or their favorite cup of coffee, and it doesn’t need to be lavish and expensive.
5. Words of Affirmation
This is telling the other person something positive about themselves. You are showing them how much you value them and love by their actions and what they do, you can also acknowledge how their strengths, and why you love that they are in your life. It could be “you are beautiful,” “I love you,” or “I really respect you.” Any compliments about physical appearance, personality, or actions.
Usually we love another person the way we like to feel loved. Which can lead to miscommunication since everyone likes to be loved in a different way. Instead, you would be more successful if you found out what your partner’s love language is or a friend or family member. You don’t have to guess or try to figure out which category you or your significant other fit under! You can take this quiz and find out. Also, you might not fit under just one category; you can identity with multiple love languages.
Reading the book or even just taking the test can really help with any relationship or friendship you are in. It helps you understand the person better and what they truly need. Whenever I date someone, I have them take this quiz and we share the results with each other. I recommend you do the same; it says a lot about the person you are interested in and can either make or break your relationship.