First dates can be nerve-racking and let’s be honest, we love to hate them.
You aren’t sure what to expect and you’re trying to impress somebody you don’t really know. Everybody can relate to trying to look perfect and not choking on their words or spilling a drink. You want to shine. After all, first impressions are everything.
On the bright side, everything can go right on the first date. You arrive and you hit it off right away. Your conversation flows freely, your attraction to each other is apparent, and you decide to see one another again.
But first dates can also go wrong. Your date can totally be a miss and leave you sending an “S.O.S.” text to your friends. It happens to almost everybody. Bad dates are something you can tell your friends and future kids about, long after you’ve recovered from that embarassing moment or awkward encounter that made you list the date as bad in the first place.
Not every date is going to be perfect. Sometimes the worst dates are life lessons to prepare you for future dates or just make for an all-around funny story. It’s what you make of it that counts.
Here are the common (and totally awkward) things that can happen on a first date. Prepare accordingly!
1. They are late.
Nobody like tardiness, but it happens. You set a time and place and expect your date to be on time. It’s common courtesy.
But things come up, traffic happens, emergencies arise, and getting lost is a thing. Don’t judge right away. Life happens and things are not always in line to happen the way they are supposed too. If your date is late, try to listen to what they have to say and move on. Although it is not a good first impression, your date got there and that’s all that matters.
2. Your date is a no-show.
Getting stood up is a datgin nightmare. You have ordered a drink, dressed really nice and are looking forward to getting to know someone new. You wait and wait but nobody shows up.
It hurts and can feel humiliating when your date leaves you hanging like this. You’re stuck with the bill and left feeling like a complete loser, which you aren’t.
If your date doesn’t show up, message them and find out what happened. You never know, something serious might have happened and they were actually not able to make it or they mixed up the days. I’m not saying you should forgive them right away, but you should listen.
3. Your date talks too much.
People talk. It creates conversation and allows you to get to know each other. But talking too much can make a date feel taken over and controlled, or can come off as annoying. If your date is talking constantly and not leaving room for you to get a word in, that could be a red flag.
It could indicate your date likes to be in control and doesn’t consider the feelings of other people. Rather than shutting down, try to intercept the conversation and have your voice heard. If you try and fail at being heard on the date, the ball is in your court and you have to decide what to do and how willing you are to be a listener 24/7.
4. They don’t talk at all.
Silence is deadly and everybody knows it. It is awkward and could make your date night very uncomfortable.
Don’t let silence be the death of the date and try to make casual conversation. It might be painful but at least your trying to keep the date from sinking. Who knows, maybe they just need a little push to come out of their shell.
5. Your date forgot to mention a food restriction.
We all have foods that we don’t eat or are allergic to and it’s nice to tell your date of those food restrictions before you grab lunch together. Imagine agreeing on a place to eat and finding out that your date is vegan after you meet up at a steakhouse.
When you set up your date location, ask your date what foods they like, what foods they don’t like, and what foods they can’t eat. This will give the person making the reservations an idea of which places will work best for both of you. It is no fun to show up on a date and realize you hate everything on the menu.
6. They walk out on you.
Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. If the date is so bad that you feel the need to bounce, at least have the decncy to inform your date you are leaving instead of climbing out of a bathroom window to make a break for it. If your date leaves you stranded, forget about them! Enjoy your night alone or call some friends to meet up with you.
7. Meeting your blast from the past
Do you know your date? Do you really know your date? Make sure you do your research before you meet your date. You don’t want something from your past to spring upon you. showing up and knowing your date beforehand could turn out to be a good thing. You guys could catch up and talk about old times. It could be bad when someone from your past shows up and they left a negative mark on your life. Try to be open and understanding if this occurs. Listen to them and hear them out. You might learn something from the other person and you might start again with your blast from the past. (never say never)
8. They say the wrong thing.
Watching what you say is imperative because you don’t want to upset your date and make them feel uncomfortable (and vice versa). If your date says something you find offensive or insulting or just flat-out strange, let them know. Be nice about it, though, because it may have just come out wrong. First date nerves can do wonders.
9. Your date is a know-it-all.
Nobody likes to be made small or feel less than they are. Sometimes people come across like they know everything, which can be both insulting and annoying. It’s important that you stay on the level of your date so you don’t come across as arrogant or high and mighty.
But don’t feel like you have to dumb your self down for a date as well. Find a balance where you look smart and don’t put yourself in a place where they cant relate to you. Once you find a middle ground you will be chatting in no time.
If your date is coming off as snobby or seems to be talking above you, casually ask them so explain what they mean so you can see where they are coming from without turning the conversation into an arguement.
10. Your date only talks about themself.
Some people can’t help but talk about themselves. Their world revolves around them and they cant see that its affecting other people.
If you’re in that situation, you need to stand your ground and get a word in. The date is for both people, not just one. Tell your date how you are feeling or try to change he subject. It’s your date, too. You need to step in and take control and show that you are not the only one at the table.
Originally written by Njeri Dean on YourTango
Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash
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