Sex is a very fun way to bond with your partner. It can be exciting, sensual, and erotic, but it requires a certain level of intimacy. When having sex, we’re vulnerable. So the last thing we want is to hear something that hurts our feelings.
As women, we already tend to be self-conscious about many things during sex, and some guys can make our deepest insecurities even worse. So, after talking to a couple of my girlfriends, I’ve compiled a list of things guys should never say to their girlfriend during sex (yes, these are real things men have said).
1. “You’re not doing it right.”
This is just plain rude, and there’s no way you can really respond to it. It’s important to have an open channel of communication during sex, but there are more sensitive ways to express what you like and don’t like. For example, instead of insulting someone, try saying, “How about we try this?” or “Let me show you how you can please me.” That way, you’re improving your sex life without hurting the other person.
2. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”
And who says romance is dead? There’s nothing less attractive than a guy who’s acting like he’s doing you a favor by having sex with you. Sex should be a pleasure, not a chore. If you’re not in the mood, simply say it. Expressing your feelings is important, and if your partner cares about you, they’ll understand — no need to be hurtful.
3. “My ex liked it.”
Everybody’s sexually different. We all have different turn-ons, and we like different things. Just because your ex enjoyed something doesn’t mean the person you’re with now will too. So instead of assuming what she likes, ask her. Or even better — make her tell you… It’s very sexy and will make her feel even better.
4. “You kiss me like my grandma.”
Sir… For this one, I just have no words. First of all, this statement instantly kills the mood. No one should be thinking about their grandma while having sex. Not sure if he was trying to get the girl to change the way she was kissing him or just be rude. Either way, if someone says that to you, get up and leave.
5. “You have a lot of pimples.”
Never ever comment on someone’s appearance negatively. I can guarantee you she knows what she looks like. And the last thing she needs is to hear you bring up her insecurities during sex. Instead, follow this rule: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything. Also, if you pick on things like that, you’re clearly not in the moment, so you two shouldn’t be having sex anyway.
6. “Is that it?”
Just… no. Sex is already incredibly vulnerable, so making someone self-conscious for their skills is one of the meanest things anyone can do. Whether it’s some hand action or just missionary, never make anyone feel like they’re less than. Make sure to compliment your partner during sex instead. Tell them how they make you feel and, if you need to, suggest new positions or changes to ensure that you’re both enjoying yourselves.
Sex already makes us vulnerable. So, please don’t make your partner feel horrible by telling them one of these things or something even worse. Instead, try to communicate your feelings and keep the experience as pleasurable as possible for the both of you. What was the worst thing someone has told you during sex? Let us know in the comments below.
Featured image via Claudia van Zyl on Unsplash