Trying to have casual sex while still living at home? The struggle is real. Trying to come up with excuses when you want to have a hookup can be draining. After all, you only have so many “friends” that you can pretend to see!
If you have overprotective parents or housemates and need to get out for a hookup, these five excuses are perfect for you. Try these the next time you’re feeling frisky!
1. “I’m going to a workout class.”
If you have consistent sexual encounters, this is a great white lie to tell when you have to leave the house several times each week. If you love the gym and having a sex life, you won’t surprise anyone when you randomly leave the house.
2. “I need to return a few things to the store.”
If you try this little white lie, put a few random items in a grocery bag or two (and don’t forget to add in your sex toys!) That way, if anyone catches you leaving in the middle of the day, you can just claim that you want to return or exchange the items in the bag. If your sex session takes a long time, you can say that the customer service line was long or that you went to two different store locations to try to find your size. It’s likely that no one will question you!
3. “I’m going to dinner with ____.”
Fill in the blank with your best friend, someone who lives from out of town (which is perfect if you want to stay the night), an old co-worker, a friend from college, or even a date. That way you can look good for a restaurant outing or BBQ and look even better for your appointment with your partner or FWB’s dick. Just think of friends that your parents or housemates know and recycle those names every once in a while.
4. “I’m working late.”
If you work a job with weird hours, this is the perfect excuse to get you out of the house and into his bed! Even if someone typically drives you to work, you can wait until they leave, get in your f*ck buddy’s car, and head to their place. When you head home, say that your co-worker gave you a ride.
5. “I’m a designated driver for ____.”
Tell your housemates that you’re going to be your friends’ DD for the night. That way, when you’re leaving the house at 2:00 am, there’s no reason for concern, and you look like you’re keeping your friends safe. If anyone asks what took you so long, you can always say that your friends were in a really bad state, so you had to help get them to bed.
While I wouldn’t suggest lying when you feel like you’re in danger, these white lies are perfect to use in most sneaky hookup situations. Even though you want to hide what (or who) you’re doing, there’s no shame in the game! So go get some, stay consensual, and have a great time getting away with some hot, sneaky sex!