The 4 Most Common Ways Women Self-Sabotage When Looking For Love

Dating in the modern world can be tough, especially when you self-sabotage. Most of the time, though, you probably don’t even realize that you’re doing anything wrong!

Luckily, you can find love… if you approach dating differently.

Many women have the misconception that looking for love in the modern world means accepting just about anyone who swipes right on your profile and hoping that you can at least tolerate them. However, this mindset is exactly what causes many women to make mistakes in their search for a lifetime partner. If you’re struggling to find “the one,” see which of these methods of self-sabotage affect your current dating style.

1. You try to mold reality to fit your ideal.

If he tells you that he’s a “loner” or isn’t ready to commit, believe him! Don’t convince yourself that if you wait long enough, he’ll change his mind. He’s clearly telling you that he doesn’t want a relationship. When you try to force people into a mold that doesn’t fit them, you only end up disappointing yourself. Instead, adopt this mindset from Maya Angelou: “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

2. You self-sabotage by condoning unacceptable behavior.

We can’t control other people’s behavior, but we can choose what we’re willing to accept. If he doesn’t live up to his promises or constantly blows you off, you reward his behavior when you grant him chance after chance. If he tells you that he likes you but doesn’t give you any of his time, then something else is going on. Most of the time, people make time for the people who matter to them. So instead of giving him endless chances, move on and find someone else who will make time for you.

3. You settle for less than you deserve.

Women often wonder what makes a relationship healthy. My number one answer is this: the way your partner makes you feel. With so many people out there who would be lucky to date you, why settle for someone who makes you feel unworthy? If at any time in a relationship your significant other makes you feel “less than,” run!

4. You self-sabotage because you feel uncertain about what you’re looking for.

When you ask yourself what you’re looking for in a partner and find yourself stumped, you have a serious issue on your hands. Usually the problem is that you’ve never thought about your desires because you firmly believe that you need to settle for anyone who swipes right.

Dating is all about learning what works for you and what doesn’t. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to compromise your needs or settle for treatment you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy! 

Instead, create your very own list of “ideal mate” characteristics. This will help you determine which dates are worth pursuing and which aren’t worth another moment of your time.

Are you ready to love and be loved in return? If you find yourself repeating these four behaviors, it’s time to take a step back and re-evaluate what you’re looking for. After all, you deserve a love life that’s fulfilling and lasts for a long time.

Originally Written by Tess Brigham and Published on YourTango

Feature Image by Eneida Nieves from Pexels



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