The question “why are you still single?” is a common one to hear when you haven’t been in a relationship for a while. Although it is made to seem like a compliment, a lot of the time the recipients of the question feel a slight shame or hurt because of the misconception. It’s a touchy subject and people don’t realize how hurtful it can actually be for someone to talk about.
Recently, a tweet that came out in 2018 resurfaced, causing the world to bring up the topic again.
From there it escalated to people sharing their own personal experiences and opinions towards this common question. The results were actually astonishing because people got so vulnerable when talking about it and ruly shared insightful experiences and words of encouragement.
This is another great point. It makes you feel like there’s something wrong with you, and you’re just waiting for other people to see it.
I bet you never thought of comparing these two situations..
If I’ve heard, “why don’t you have/want kids?” once, I’ve heard it a dozen times and it’s beyond frustrating to hear.
I feel like we’ve all wanted to say this to people but don’t always have the courage to be this honest with them.
I have never related to a statement more in my life. Why is this another common question even if it’s meant to be flirty? How else are we supposed to answer that?
This advice actually makes sense. It’s also the best way to say, “I’m picky,” without coming out and saying it.
This is also really good advice to follow when you want to respond.
I think the insinuation is what is the most hurtful thing behind this comment. There are situations that have occurred that surely aren’t always our faults yet here we are having to awkwardly defend that while people may believe that we are the problem all the time.
I too agree with the one who makes this comment and asks the question. Sometimes we know they’re asking out of genuine interest and are only wishing for the best, but sometimes it’s just so snobby and hurtful.
That dreaded timeline is always in the back of our minds. It certainly is nice to be reminded that there is no need to be at the finish line when we haven’t fully completed the race/journey.
I couldn’t agree with this statement more.
So why can’t people accept that single people are choosing to make the decision to hold off on dating to focus on themselves, waiting for the right relationship or choosing to value themselves as an individual before finding someone else to love?
It’s not like this decision affects anyone else but themselves.
While I am conflicted if this is a compliment or a slight personal attack, I do believe that a lot of the time the intention is well but the tone behind it may say otherwise. But it is reassuring that people feel the same way about how it can be hurtful to hear or try to explain because of the vulnerability behind it and the feeling of failure.
Make sure to remember that you do not need to justify your relationship status to anyone unless you want to. Do not feel obligated to discuss it.