It’s safe to say that we cherish our sleep. Yes, it’s 100% vital to our daily survival. It also gives us something to look forward to at the end of our day.
If you have a partner, that person is hopefully a presence in your life who brings you comfort, joy, and acts as a real life pillow at the end of the day. Whether you’re big or little spoon, the concept of cuddling is in my opinion, highly underrated.
In an era of “Netflix and chill,” we forgot how tired people are and how much they want to be in their beds like the sedentary creatures that they envy: the sloth. Lately, I’ve noticed a growing trend on dating apps of people searching for their “cuddle buddies”, “cuddle partners,” or “human pillows.” Even more surprising is how open people are to sharing close quarters with relative strangers. To be honest, this sounds like a great idea. I want to know if the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life is a 10/10 cuddler.
Recently, I met someone on Hinge, yet another dating app. I invited a complete stranger over (not my norm) after she wanted me to put my money where mouth was when it came to cuddling. Never one to back down from what I’m saying, and based off the prior conversation we had, I was led to believe that she was an expert cuddler as well.
Much to my dismay, the cuddling sucked. Our connection did not last much longer after a proper date but not solely because the cuddling was bad. Cuddling requires participation from both parties. It’s pretty much necessary if it’s going to be enjoyable for all involved. For instance, I enjoy being big spoon because as the outer layer of the cuddling, I can control my body placement and the rest of the environment. I’m also the person responsible for relaxing and taking care of the person I’m cuddling.
On the other hand, the person being cuddled dictates whether they want to be cuddled or not – its their choice. Cuddling – like everything else – should be consensual. Their body is essentially serving as a real life pillow, except one that breathes and overheats. There is an art form and rhythm to perfecting the cuddle, that’s for sure. It feels so relaxing knowing someone feels the need to hold you while resting. Feeling their breathing, their hands in yours or placed elsewhere for maximum comfort is euphoric. Cuddling certainly serves a sensual purpose as well.
By the same token, cuddling can provide for a more intimate setting to engage in conversation with your cuddle buddy. In those moments, you’re at your most vulnerable, your walls are down, and you’re (hopefully) in a safe space . Some of the best conversations I’ve ever had about life, and the future, have happened during cuddling.
So, to my cuddling aficionados, embrace the cuddle. Champion its importance to those who may criticize and shame it. The cuddle is a versatile tool that one should always have in their repertoire. With all that being said, cuddling is not only for those cold months, but a forever activity with numerous benefits.