There was never anyone whom I could call ‘my Valentine’ on Valentine’s Day until today. I figured it’s due to a mix of different reasons: being a plain jane, social awkwardness, seeing situations differently, immaturity in the past and most of all, I just haven’t found the right person.
Furthermore, I used to feel insecure about Valentine’s Day due to the fact that it just so happens to fall on my birthday. I naively thought that I should have someone to share Valentine’s Day with by now.
My insecurities were further fueled after noticing some of my schoolmates had a Valentine and how the holiday is portrayed in the media. However, as time passed, I’ve learned to appreciate my singlehood whenever I tear off ‘February 13th’ from my calendar.
Celebrating with someone special
I’d rather celebrate Valentine’s Day with someone special instead of looking for someone. In fact, I don’t need any pity dates or gifts. A guy can easily show up at my doorstep with a bunch of fresh flowers but his heart won’t be truly present. Even if someone offers to be my Valentine, it’s meaningless if his heart isn’t genuine. Furthermore, most guys seek relationships with lustful intentions and by having a girlfriend, they assume that it gives them permission for sex. They can butter things up and melt a girl’s heart with sweet nothings all for Valentine’s Day sex. I deserve to be a priority in a man’s heart.
Every day should be Valentine’s Day
Expressing love towards someone should happen all throughout the year, not just on Valentine’s Day. Why treat someone properly only on the day itself when you should do that every day? I noticed that whenever couples celebrate Valentine’s Day, there are flowers and chocolates, and a cute date to follow. But here’s the thing, do you actually treat your significant other well? Do you consistently make the effort and spend time with one another and treat each other well every day? I want my future S.O. to show me love through his actions. Actions speak louder than words. Showing concern by cooking a bowl of warm porridge when I’m sick is love compared to simply saying “I love you.”
One of my Valentine’s Day wishes happens to be receiving a bouquet of roses and I used to feel horrible about myself when I didn’t receive them. I’d always thought that something must be wrong with me. I thought to myself that I must be an ugly duckling, but at the end of the day, I much rather receive them from someone who has genuine feelings. So, I decided to buy a flower for myself. I realized that I could use it as a table decoration. Every time I look up at it, they remind me that I should always love myself.
This year I’ll be celebrating Valentine’s Day alone, again. However, I’m completely fine with it. Instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day the classic way, I thought I’d write my own story by celebrating it in my own unique way. Dress up and rock that bold red lipstick of yours and hit the streets like a boss bitch who doesn’t give a care in the world about being dateless.
Go out and have a good girls night out. I’ll be spending time with a close friend at a park while eating something simple and catching up. Then, I’ll go home and journal about how loving and productive my day was, hugging a cute plush toy while telling myself, “Happy Birthday and Valentine’s Day, love.”