To put it in the simplest terms; in order to be the girl who stops giving a shit, you need to learn how not to care as much. To achieve this you will have to make a few changes, but they will be worth it.
You have to define yourself by what others think of you and reflect on how they treat you. If you notice they are positive influences and reinforcement, keep them around. Continue to search for those people because they will reflect how you view yourself too. A positive person who knows her worth and how she deserves to be treated.
If you sit around feeling unlovable, broken or too much to handle, you won’t find positive results to help you find the right kind of people you want to keep around. You’ll soon notice the influence other people have on your mood or self-esteem.
An easy way to learn your limits and learn how not to care is to fall in love. Real love hurts because there are long, grueling roads that will usually result in a heartbreak at some point.
And while you’re left there to cry feeling your chest tighten and the difficulty to breathe, you’ll recall all of the horrible reasons why they made you upset. You’ll reminisce on the issues you had within the relationship and the signs you knew it was bound to be doomed. It’s raw, and it’s real. But most importantly it’ll show you that there was no reason to care in the first place.
You’ll soon see the warning signs in other people that share those toxic traits you are trying to stay clear from. The next time you notice a boy only Snapchats you (not even sends you a text) after midnight on a weekend to hang out… You won’t care to ghost him because you know what he’s truly after instead of what he falsely promised. And you won’t feel an ounce of remorse for it.
When it comes to interaction with other people, always be on guard and super judgemental in the beginning stages to avoid being fooled. Go through a self-preservation phase. And notice who makes the effort to reach out if you are iffy with people. Give yourself the distance from the real world to take notice to your surroundings.
Once you’ve recognized you have learned valuable lessons in life about trust, friendship, and loyalty, start living for yourself and doing what you want to. Take another tequila shot after your friends tell you no in horror, flirt with that guy you always see at work, and be confident through it all. Having confidence in your decisions is key.
As soon as you’ve been embracing these new changes, you’ll quickly notice that the little things used to bother you. If it upsets you, it’ll only last a few minutes and will suddenly evaporate from your existence.
You’ll realize that you cannot change someone’s mind no matter how hard you try. You can’t change the past. And you did nothing wrong to be treated poorly in most situations. You’ll just stop caring about other people once you start to better yourself. And begin focusing on positivity and growth.
Lastly, look back at the innocent, naive and quiet girl who was too afraid to speak up for herself or defend herself. You’ll notice that you might not be as sensitive. But you’ll recognize that you still love deeply; just not for the wrong people. You won’t make excuses for poor behavior and will spend the time to correct it before walking away from the mess that was just created.
You’ll know you cried when you wanted and needed to. You’ll still put your heart out there but won’t be as upset when it gets broken occasionally. And you’ll be aware that you tried and that it’s okay to walk away to save yourself the pain.
You’ll be a new woman and you simply won’t give a shit if people want to ruin your growth.