Over the past few years, I’ve always had a man by my side. I was always in a relationship.
I had been in a relationship for a few years before my first engagement, then broke it off because of infidelity on his part. Not long after that, I got into a one-year relationship with a man who was my rebound. After that, I met my second ex-fiancé, and this was by far the messiest and worst breakup. I dated after that, but I could not open myself to anyone. It was the typical rebound relationship.
After much thought, I decided that it was time to be alone.
Now I am 20-something single woman.
It has been a few years since I was in a committed relationship. And yet I am still slowly learning what it means to be single. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I was so used to sharing everything. I was so used to having someone around.
Now, I have realized that I am my own person. If I can’t enjoy being single, how can I enjoy being with someone else?
After years of being in relationships, I am finally giving myself what I need: some me time. This is the time I must use to reconnect with myself, a time where I can talk to myself, take care of myself, and find myself again.
This is my time for reflection.
This is my time for acceptance and letting go.
Now that I’m single, I have an opportunity to do all the things that I put off while I was putting all of my energy into relationships. I’m taking this time to enjoy myself and take care of my own wellbeing. I am learning that I don’t need a significant other to be complete and that a partner should not be the source of my happiness. I’ve finally understood that I can be complete and happy on my own. I have realized that if you find happiness within yourself, no one can take it away from you.
To be really single means to let yourself heal and to allow yourself the space to process what went wrong. It is also the time to reflect on how you can right your mistakes in the future.When you spend time alone, you have the opportunity for quiet reflection and powerful insights, and that’s something that’s best when you’re single, with no romantic distractions to stop you from reconnecting with yourself and what you want from life and love.
I am slowly learning that there’s nothing wrong with being single and that you don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. Singledom teaches you how to please no one but yourself. You have time to find out what it is you really like; whether that’s discovering new hobbies or figuring out what makes you tick emotionally and physically.
I am learning that being single reminds you that love isn’t just confined to romance. You don’t have to have a significant other to recognize the abundance of love in your life. You begin to notice how much other love is all around you; it can come from friends and family, too. Being single gives you the chance to discover how amazing the solo life can be. You have the freedom to make the major life changes you desperately need and the power to please yourself without compromise. You get to discover yourself all over again, and nothing is more exciting than learning how to have a positive relationship with yourself.
You realize that being single is not scary. And that embracing it will bring you so much more happiness than you would get from settling for the wrong person. You learn that it will take someone amazing to make you want to change your “single” status.
I am slowly learning that my single-hood is not something that the first flirty man who comes along needs to cure. I don’t have to settle.
Being single teaches you how wonderful you really are. It shows you that you don’t deserve a match you make out of desperation or convenience.
I am slowly learning that being single gives me the freedom. As well as the time to find myself again.
And to learn how to truly fall in love with the one person who matters most – me.
Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash