If I said I didn’t have friends in high school, I would be lying. I didn’t have a consistent group of friends throughout my years in high school, but I did have people that I considered my friends at the time. However, that does not mean I was super popular and had really great friends. There were times when I had a best friend, but none of those lasted.
I was always the girl that people befriended because they felt bad. I was pitiful because of my home life and everyone knew that. I knew they were only my friends because they knew no one else would be, but that didn’t mean they stuck around. I was never really invited to go anywhere, and when I was I couldn’t go.
I was always the girl with the not-so-close group of friends. Even though there were plenty of people who looked out for me and welcomed me to their lunch table, I was always the girl that felt so alone. I was always uncomfortable and usually kept to myself even when I was surrounded by other people.
It is a feeling I do not miss. Because of these things, I was happy to finally go off to college and start off with a clean slate.
In college, I got very lucky with friendships. I made friends almost immediately and it was nice that people weren’t judging for my past and what my life at home was like. These were people who were genuinely interested in getting to know me and they helped me grow so much. I have a number of close friends now who have helped me develop into the person I am now. I absolutely love who I am when I am at school, but that, unfortunately, makes coming home that much harder.
I know a lot of girls who love college as much as I do, but when they come home they have these exciting reunions with their best friends from high school. That is not the case for me. I haven’t talked to anyone from high school in a couple of years and I can’t say I would want it any other way. There are more positive and uplifting people in my life now and I plan on never going back.
Although college has been a mostly positive social experience, I still have my fair share of issues. I have difficulties opening up to people. I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t always want to hang out. I am still a very introverted person.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t want friends. It means I need friends who are compassionate and understanding. Thankfully, I have finally found that. So no, I didn’t have friends in high school, but I quickly learned that that doesn’t mean I can’t have friends now.
I believe that good things take time, and because of that, I am more okay with the fact that I did not have too many friends. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen for me. And to have good things to look forward too just makes it a little bit more meaningful.