One of the cornerstones of any strong relationship is communication. Merriam-Webster defines communication as “A process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior.” The key term there is “information.”
See, the most effective type of communication includes information that both parties can use to improve the situation that they are in. Basically, communication allows the two people involved to understand one another better and work towards a common goal.
So why do so many people who spend so much time talking suck so much at communicating? Well it’s simply because so many of us confuse talking with communicating. And because I feel like using some generalizations, women are some of the biggest perpetrators of this fraud.
See, most of us men will acknowledge that we suck at communicating. We hate talking about feelings and stuff that sounds mushy… Which incidentally is the type of communication women want from us most. Not that it specifically helps push the relationship forward, but it does provide women with the peace of mind necessary to…um…feel comfortable enough to stick around.
Which again, isn’t necessarily pushing any relationship forward.
Us menfolks typically like to talk about sports, music, cars and things that men generally talk about. That type of stuff that is fun but as soon as it comes to the nitty gritty, we find it hard to do…or at least with the people who could benefit the most: the women in our lives.
I can’t tell you how many deep and in depth conversations I’ve had with my friends about how I feel or the place I’m at in my relationships and what I want out of life and who I want it with. Yet, when it has come time to talk to the woman in my life, I clam up.
Conversely, I know that women do a good job of talking to their friends about the same things and hashing things out, but maybe the frustration takes over when talking to us men because a lot of talking at and upset projection tends to come our direction. Not that all women aren’t good at communicating at all, but it has to be hard to effectively communicate when your partner isn’t very good or putting up resistance.
Now, many of us in relationships talk to one another constantly, but we’re not necessarily communicating. It’s one of those areas where everybody can do better.
That’s why we need to make sure we put in effort to truly communicate with the people in our lives. Because the truth is, talking isn’t necessarily communicating, and that’s something we could all stand to realize.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash