He wasn’t your person. He wasn’t kind. He wasn’t generous. He wasn’t genuine. He wasn’t good enough to be called yours. He wasn’t a good person in general. He wasn’t even close to the man that you made up in your mind, but you continue to look at him through a different lens. You continue to choose to see him in a different way than what he really is, because that is how you hoped he would turn out to be. But he wasn’t. He wasn’t your person.
When someone treats you like they don’t give a damn, it doesn’t mean that you should put forward more effort. When someone doesn’t follow through with what they say they are going to do, it doesn’t mean that you continue to make excuses for it. When someone disappears from your life, it doesn’t mean that you make an extra effort to try to keep up in theirs. When someone gives you less than you deserve, it doesn’t mean that you should try harder. It all means that it is time to move on and time to let them go.
Stop being hard on yourself. This wasn’t about you. It never was about you. It was always about him looking for that attention. It was always about him taking everything that he could from your hands. It was always about him seeking everything in you that was available to him, while he was going to give you nothing in return. He knew what he was doing and he knew that you were an easy target. You just tried way too hard for someone that was never good enough for you to begin with.
You are not required to give him anymore of your time or your effort. You are not forced to listen to his problems or to face his issues that he might find fault with. You don’t have to laugh at his jokes or continue to put up with his arrogant ways. You are not even required to think about him if you don’t want to. You are not obligated to stay in a place that makes you unhappy just because he has put you there. The only obligation you have is to yourself and making yourself whole again. Now is your time, now is your place, now is your voice. Use it.
Stop being the best reversion of yourself for all the wrong people. Look for those who bring out the best in you. Search for those who seek to be around you and to make your world a brighter place. Keep the ones around you that lend a listening ear and are there for you in your time of need. Embrace the ones that accept you for all of your accomplishments and defeats. Put yourself first and know what is right for you. You are top priority now. You are the one that deserves that extra love now. Surround yourself with the right people and make yourself whole again.