“You must have misunderstood my intentions.”
This is the type of explanation he came up with when you finally gathered enough courage to ask him what you really meant to him. This is the type of explanation he gave you when you asked him what the deal was between the two of you. This is the response he gave; the apology you received. This is the type of justification that you shouldn’t have accepted.
You can say someone “misunderstood” you if the person you’re talking to misheard you when you told them what your favorite food is, or your favorite drink, or anything mundane, really. You can say someone “misunderstood” you if they handed you a black-colored pen when you were really asking for blue. But, damn it, you cannot possibly accept it when someone tells you that you “misunderstood” their intentions when they have flirted (and are continuously flirting) with you vigorously in numerous occasions.
They’re not supposed to tell you that you “misunderstood” the kisses they gave you, or the tight hugs they shared with you, or their frequent lingering touch.
Because, let’s be honest here, his feeble attempt of explaining to you his side isn’t meant to save you from a heartbreak, no. It’s for him to save himself because of his utter cowardice. As if by saying that “you misunderstood” him would mean that he doesn’t have any part in this. It’s as good as him saying that it’s you who made the mistake of seeing something that’s never really there. And the worst part is if he become so good at giving this type of explanation away to the point that he can make anyone believe that the problem has never been him but the person he’s dealing with. In this case, that’s you.
But that’s not how it’s supposed to be. You’re not supposed to blame yourself for this due to the fact that you were only reacting to whatever it is he’s been doing or saying to you. He’s basically saying that you’re crazy for even thinking that there’s something more to this than there really is. And that’s unacceptable.
I’m not saying that you should insist your idea on him. And I’m most certainly am not saying that you should start an argument with him over this matter. What I’m trying to say is that if you’re ever faced with someone like this, please walk away. Literally and figuratively speaking.
Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you being affected by this. I know it’s going to hurt like hell but believe me when I say that it’s going to hurt worse if you try to reason with someone who is essentially not ready for what you have to offer. So, walk away. Write him/her off and let things go because you deserve better than this.
You deserve someone who isn’t just there to make you feel better at first and shitty the next. You deserve someone who won’t keep you guessing of his real feelings towards you. You deserve someone who would willingly reciprocate the feelings you have. You deserve someone who is going to be there for you through and through.
Don’t ask for clarifications for the reason that if someone wants you to be part of their life just as much as you do, believe me, you’ll know.
So, go look for the “definite” type of love. Wait for the “sure” kind. Don’t ever settle for the type where you have to question what your worth is. Because, really, you deserve more than that.
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