The older I get the more I realize, I don’t like a lot of men when it comes to dating. Within the first five minutes of meeting a gentleman, I can tell if they are someone that I could see myself playing “Monopoly” with (AKA dating), if they are someone I can see helping out looking for a “Monopoly” partner with (AKA a friend) or if they are someone that I can just write off as another creeper (AKA run away from). I know that might not be the most logical thing because you should get to know someone before you make these conclusions, but in my line of work (being a creeper magnet), I can just tell if I could have a future with someone or if I can just write them off. You may call it “picky”, I call it not wasting any more time.
A gift and a curse of mine is that I can easily read people. Maybe it is after my extensive years of dating all of the wrong people, but I can tell if someone is genuine or has an alternative motive. So when I do actually find someone that strikes my interest, it is exciting, yet absolutely terrifying. I don’t really know what to do with myself. I turn into a middle school girl, wondering if I should pass a note to them, check yes or no if you like me. When I do actually start to like someone, I feel like an assclown.
First off, liking someone creates this weird feeling in your body. You get these odd butterflies when you think about him/her, your mind is always wondering to him/her, and then you just lose all train of focus because you are too caught up in the idea that they could like you back. This, in turn, makes you say off the wall things, act out in weird ways, and lose all sense of self because you are so caught up in the idea that someone may actually like you!
Second, you overthink everything. “Was that the wrong thing to say? Why haven’t I heard from him in forty-eight hours? I wonder if he likes this color on me. I have a zit on my nose I hope he doesn’t notice it. I wonder if he is talking to other girls too. I wonder if he would want the dog piece in Monopoly because that is the piece I normally play with. Was he checking that girl’s ass out? I don’t think he likes me, do you think he likes me?” All normal questions that will go through a girl’s head daily when she is thinking about a guy.
And finally, you have to put yourself out there. That is just terrifying. You are making it known to the world that you like this guy/girl, which provides them with the opportunity to hurt you. After years of putting yourself out there and having someone come along to kick your heart around, it gets discouraging to put it back out there again. It is a huge step for someone and can make them act like a straight up crazy person. Sometimes they accidentally create a situation that makes them look a little like a straight up lunatic because you are doing everything in their power from getting hurt again.
So when it comes down to it, I do not think I’m alone on this one. I think everyone looks like an ass clown when it comes to liking someone. At least, in the beginning when you are still trying to figure each other out. Hopefully, you can dial back on the craziness for a bit, just so that they can get to know you and appreciate you for all the greatness that you are. At least, before your nutty side comes out. Also, appreciate the ass clown moments, that just means that they are really interested in you. Be an ass clown for love people!
Feature image via New Girl