Why can’t they be on the same page? Why can’t he see what she needs him to see? Why does she feel like she is always in the wrong? Why is it that she feels like she is always waiting? She is…
This is not what she had planned for. She never wanted to be this person. The one waiting for him to call. The one waiting for his next move. The one waiting for him to let her know what’s next with them. The one turning down other guys while she is waiting for him to make up his mind. The one spent wasting time on him.
It may look like anger, but it is frustration in the lack of understanding. In the lack of trying on his part. In the lack of giving a damn and the abundance of excuses made. There is so much frustration in being…
She is always trying to find the right words to say but always falls short. She may come off as “naggy” or “needy”, but in reality, this position that he has put her in has made her feel insecure. Unsure of herself. Not good enough. And when she finally figures out the words to say, she is still left questioning everything that is being unsaid.
It may seem as if all women want a commitment, but that wasn’t her. She was just looking for answers. She was just looking for understanding. She was just trying to show where she was coming from. But in the misunderstandings, there becomes…
There is something still there, but there is something she is missing. He says one thing and acts out another. He likes her, but not enough to make that jump. He notices her, but not enough to step up. He wants her, but not enough to change his plans. She wanted organization; he didn’t want labels. She wanted answers; he wanted fun. She wanted stability; he wanted other options.
It may look pretty obvious that they were on different pages, but she just wanted one thing from him. She wasn’t looking to scare him. She wasn’t looking for him to put a ring on it. She wasn’t even ready for a label. She just needed to know he wasn’t using her; she just wanted the guarantee that she was the only one in bed with him. The confusion leaves her…
They are in a holding pattern. Like an airplane stuck on the runway, unable to take off and not sure which way to turn. She is desperate for some direction; he is desperate for something more from someone new. Every time she thinks she is getting closer, he pulls further away.
It may seem obvious to you, but there are still so many questions for her. What happened to the girl she used to be? Walk away. How did she let him make her feel this way?He doesn’t deserve you. Why has she let it go on for so long? He had a good game going. She thought he was different, she saw the good in him. It was a risk she was willing to take. But in the end, she knew he was going to leave her…
She was tired of being disappointed in the people she put such faith in. The people she knew could be better than how they were. The people who walked all over her and used her to get what they wanted – not caring about the damage they may cause. The people that she invested time in, but who couldn’t give her a moment of their own. In the end, he turned her into a person she didn’t want to be.
She wanted to be more than just that girl he met at a rock show. She wanted to be his fun girl, but she wanted to be on the same page with him. All she asked for was to be more than just another girl to him. All she asked for was…
He knew what she wanted, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want her to know she was just another piece of his puzzle. He didn’t want her to know that he was looking at other options. He didn’t want her to know that she was on the back burner, his just-in-case girl.
It was obvious now, if he wanted to be with her, he would have been already. Everything shouldn’t have been on his terms. Everything shouldn’t have been what he wanted. Everything shouldn’t have been about him getting his way. She didn’t ask for anything other than clarity, but he couldn’t even give that. And that is when she did one more thing for him. She made it clear, she was gone.
Feature Image via Nicole Elizabeth.