To The Guy I Thought Was My Future Husband

I never thought I would meet the love of my life at 19. I was just a crazy sorority girl who loved to party and eat late night pizza. I was damaged by all the guys who screwed me over in the past but you saw past that. You treated me like I was a princess even when I clearly wasn’t. You loved my strengths and my flaws and you supported me through hell and back. You promised a future that included successful careers, adorable small dogs, and most of all each other. At the end of the day, you weren’t just my boyfriend. You were my family, my support system and, most of all, my best friend.

You broke down my walls and taught me how to love unconditionally. You made me the best version of myself and I knew you were the person I never wanted to live without. I loved you through any problem, any doubt, and any insecurity and you never failed to do the same. We got through everything together. No matter the issue, it was me and you in the end. Nothing was big enough to break us apart because our love for each other was strong enough to survive it all. It was no secret that we weren’t just another college couple who was drunk on love.

However one day, I wasn’t enough anymore. You stopped seeing my beauty and you started seeing your other options, the fun that comes with something new. You forgot what it was like to love me with your whole heart because you started to destroy me. You saw me breaking down, you saw me spiraling into loneliness and a place where I no longer loved myself because you no longer loved me.

The saddest part was you didn’t even care.

You didn’t have the courage to break up with me but you acted as if you already had. You didn’t see me when I came into town and without any warning, you stopped talking to me because you started talking to her. You blamed the issues on long distance but when you cut off the ability to connect, distance wasn’t the issue, you were.

I stood by you when no one else did. I pushed you out of your comfort zone, supported you unconditionally and honestly believe that I made you the best version of yourself. You may think your friends and the new rebound girl in your life are your support system now but I guarantee they will be gone sooner than you know. In that moment, you will finally realize that you lost the best thing in your life because you were selfish.

Even after the breakup, I thought that even though you weren’t my boyfriend that you would always be my best friend because we loved each other too much to not care when one another is hurting. But boy was I wrong. The night you broke up with me you left me with false hope that this is only temporary, that I’m still your future. But then you immediately turned around and cut me out to fill the void with another girl.

I gave you everything I had, to the point where I was left with nothing when you left me. I had no confidence or self-love and I didn’t even believe in myself anymore. You broke down the girl you built up for the past four years. I have no doubt in my mind you’ll come running back one day and I hope more than anything that at that point you’ll find that I’m a stronger person, that I’ve moved on and that I’m happier with someone else who wouldn’t give up their ‘soul mate’ to ‘enjoy their 20s’ with a girl who is more convenient. So this one’s to you love, thanks for the memories but I don’t need them anymore and one day soon enough I won’t need you either.

I used to believe in you and never would have given up but you stopped being the person I loved and started being someone I hated. I couldn’t hold on to our friendship, love, and promises alone anymore so I finally let go and closed the door on that chapter of our life.

Featured Image Via Pexels


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