For some reason the recent man in my life doesn’t seem to be running away. My boomerang style of emotions, my drunken topsy-turvy shenanigans and my bad jokes haven’t made him run for the hills. I even accidentally let a little fart slip out the other day (kill me now) and he’s still around. Despite my skepticism and my messy life this man isn’t leaving anytime soon and dare I say it
I’m entering a honeymoon stage.
You know, the blissful beginning when everything seems absolutely wonderful and you feel you’ve really hit gold. I think we all feel this at the beginning, while we are basking in the honeymoon stage. Although, I’ve been wondering lately about what it will really be like if I’m taking a plunge into a relationship. I mean, I hear the talk – I realize it’s not all sunshine and roses all the time. Fact is, I’m enjoying a lot of pieces of this relationship that I’m terrified will go away.
The whole of the world talks about the honeymoon stage as if it’s a vacation to Barbados when you got a sweet tan and get to spend most mornings on a beach with no makeup on, a fresh green smoothie in hand, feeling very organic and free and on top of the mother freakin’ world.
People also talk about coming down from this honeymoon stage like it’s the snowy landing in late February from your vacay, while you’re looking run down from the jet lag and annoyed by the man behind you that was kicking your seat. Basically, all the couples in the world seem to be promoting and advertising the fact that these lustful and light-hearted days will soon be gone and I’m not happy about it. It’s too damn sweet.
Here are some things that I never want to see go and things I will be trying my best to make stick.
- Laughing together – often
I need to laugh, I want to laugh, and basically, the only reason I’m with you is to be my own personal stand up comedian – you don’t get to retire from this gig! If you don’t keep laughing together, or find those little things to keep make each other smile, then what is the point anyways?
- Staying calm under pressure
At the beginning you’re working hard to not let your bad bits show and staying calm in the face of trouble. Although, I really hope I don’t get to the point where I’m snapping at my man too quickly. I want to keep a level head and level mind and stay calm in situations of conflict. Maybe this is too far-fetched, and I’m in a dream world, but even though there may be trouble, I always hope to remain calm instead of losing my marbles. Life is tough enough.
- Sex all the time
Like do I actually have to give this up? I vote no. Every time. If anything, you just gotta get a bit more interesting.
- He still makes an effort to be romantic.
Maybe you find new ways of being romantic – and the knowledge of each other creates new avenues for romantic endeavors and small gestures to show you care. If I’m in a relationship, I want to hold on to the romantic side, or else he might as well just be my f*ck buddy.
- You don’t go through each others’ phones
The way I see it, your privacy and personal life needs to stay intact and this is very important to keep the relationship healthy and alive. I hope I never find the need or urge to hunt through my man’s phone. That will mean the trust is alive, his privacy and personal life feels like his own and he can still tell me stories about what crazy shit his guy friends got up to on the weekend, without me snooping on the boys’ chat.
- You get excited about the nothings together
I don’t want this spark to ever go away – the idea of seeing him at the end of my long day. Or the excitement we get to just sit and watch our favorite show together. Or thinking about the smile he’ll have when he sees you picked up his favorite breakfast bagels for your Saturday morning in bed. This fun you both have in moments of nothing is what makes you two special – and why you like to have him by your side.
I know there are lots of other things that, after time, seem to happen no matter what; he starts farting around you, you aren’t embarrassed about chowing down copious amounts of food in your sweatpants, you start getting slightly annoyed by his endearing but patience-testing quirks, etc. Regardless, there are still some things dubbed as “honeymoon stage signs” that I hope to keep around. And if I think this, I feel a little less scared of taking that plunge and a little more confident that I can make these happy vibes stick. Just like honey, hunny.
Featured image via Barbara Ines.