When you’re in your early 20s, many people would advise you to stay single and be selfish. Many say this time should be defined by living carefree and finding yourself in solo travel experiences and casual dating. I’ve never experienced the crazy, independent single, early-20s lifestyle because when I was 19, I fell head over heels in love with someone who has the complete opposite personality to mine. He was the cold and I was the hot, total opposites.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Don’t you guys butt heads and argue all the time because you see things so differently?” The answer to your question is simple: no.
The healthiest and best functioning relationships come from falling in love with someone who is the complete opposite of you. I’ve never been happier, or more sure, of anything in all of my life and to be honest, I haven’t seen any relationship quite like ours. While my girlfriends love to bitch and moan about their boyfriends and how poorly they’ve treated them, I rarely have a negative thing to say about mine. While my girlfriends complain about how much they fight with their boyfriends, I truly can’t relate. So, what’s my secret?
I fell in love with someone who is my opposite and here’s why you should too:
1. You balance each other out.
I’m a loud, outspoken, opinionated girl who doesn’t know when to shut the f*ck up. My boyfriend is a quiet, soft-spoken, socially uncomfortable, adorable mouse. In the beginning of our relationship, I was off-the-wall crazy, always causing a scene at a bar and always being “that girl.” Three years later, I’ve mellowed out completely and I no longer find it a necessity to be the center of attention everywhere I go. My boyfriend has also learned to come out of his shell, too. He goes after more things, isn’t as uncomfortable in new social settings and definitely has a newfound wild side. It’s great being with your opposite because your kick ass qualities will undoubtedly rub off on each other.
2. You’ll bring new things into each other’s lives.
My boyfriend and I don’t exactly share the same hobbies, but over the last three years, we’ve developed new ways to connect our interests in our relationship. For example, I love Harry Potter and my boyfriend loves video games. We decided to get over-the-top drunk this past summer and play the entire Lego Harry Potter video game. We beat all eight levels within two weeks. It sounded really weird, but we had the greatest time doing it. We were able to assimilate things we loved separately into something new to love together.
When you are with someone who’s your opposite, you can bring really incredible things into his world and vise versa. My boyfriend has shown me more interesting things, shows, movies and places than anyone I’ve ever known. There’s always room for more hobbies in your life and spark an interest you didn’t even know about.
3. Your styles of argument are completely different.
I love to yell, and my boyfriend loves to rationally communicate. Some may believe this is the equation to a nuclear explosion of pain, but that’s actually the furthest thing from the truth. Whenever I get really heated up and angry about something, my boyfriend approaches the situation in a calm and logical manner. Knowing he’s being so relaxed about everything makes me feel stupid for freaking out and therefore, I usually dial down and approach the situation in a more rational way, too. By dating someone who isn’t as hot-headed as you may be, the argument will turn into a conversation rather than a blowout fight.
4. You’ll never be bored.
My boyfriend is Greek Orthodox and I’m an American Jew. Our cultures could not be more different. But maybe that’s what makes our relationship so much fun. We have different taste and interests, so we’ll always be trying new things, new foods, new cuisines and learning about new cultures. Albert Einstein once said, “Our only source of knowledge is experience.”
In order to grow and assimilate, while broadening intellect and character, we must experience new things outside of our comfort zones. And who better to do it with than someone you genuinely love?
5. There’s always room to discover new things about each other..
When someone is not identical to your personality or character, it’s like charting unexplored territory; it’s like being on an adventure or journey every day. You’ll be discovering new places and new parts of your partner’s soul you may have not seen before. This makes for the best journey as a couple. When you uncover new things about each other, you find more to love, more to care about and more to appreciate.
6. You’ll have a great support system.
When you’re feeling super down, he may not know exactly how to cheer you up, but he’ll go to the ends of the Earth to do so. This is because he’s still learning about the ins and outs of you, just as you are with him. Whenever people don’t necessarily understand something to the fullest, they try hard to learn and become fluent in that particular field or matter. Therefore, your partner will do anything to bring a smile back to your face. He’ll also become your best looking and biggest cheerleader!
I always tell my friends when they’re single and looking to date that they should always live by the one date rule. Even if you think someone is not your type at all, or that you two would never hit it off, you’ll be surprised by just how much you could find your soul mate in someone you least expect.