Why The Silent Treatment Is The Ultimate Revenge After Your Breakup

If there’s something I have learned from relationships’ past, it’s this: silence works a treat (hence the term silent treatment) when you are truly done with someone.

The difference between girls and guys is that while we love to get all of our feelings out, they prefer to bottle them up. After a breakup, we’re usually tearing ourselves apart because we’re sending them those essay-long texts that cover every inch of our emotions – but they’re not replying to them!

So, why don’t you turn it on its head?

Recently, a guy I would have done anything for let me down for a second time this year but when he sent me a half-hearted apology via text (though my immediate reaction was to send a reply) I thought about it…and then changed my mind and here’s why:

1. The silent treatment says a lot without saying anything.

My Dad once told me, “Sometimes it’s better to say nothing and just remain in a dignified silence.” And he’s right. When you give someone the silent treatment, you are telling them that you have no more words to say to them – you’ve said them all.

2. The silent treatment catches guys off-guard.

Guys know that girls love to rant and rave after a relationship ends, and if he knows you’re a culprit of that from previous arguments then why not make him squirm with confusion by not replying?

3. The silent treatment means the ball is left in your court.

If you reply to his messages, then you’re passing the control straight back to him. But if you say nothing, then it remains firmly in your hands. If he tries to come back again (which he mostly likely will at some point) then you can smack the ball straight in his face.

4. The silent treatment will make him wonder what YOU’RE thinking.

If the guy is expecting you to reply and you don’t, he’s going to wonder why. You are completely empowered by refusing to acknowledge him and he’s going to get frustrated by not receiving a response. Cue him looking like the needy one.

5. The silent treatment makes you feel better about yourself.

If you reply, you’re only going to be sitting there waiting for him to reply (or never reply). Take charge of your feelings. If he’s hurt you then is he worth your time? Is he worth any more anxiety? Probably not. By not replying, he’s only going to experience the same emotions that have been eating away at you. The silent treatment gives him a taste of his own medicine!

Take it from me, revenge really is a dish best served cold – the cold shoulder. After that guy attempted to gain my forgiveness with his pathetic apology text message to which I didn’t reply – lo’ and behold two weeks later, he added me on SnapChat! I didn’t follow him back. I thought about blocking him but then I decided to leave him with a little insight into my life through my SnapChat stories…just so he can see how much better off I am without him! He brought that on himself.

Featured Image via bitchbumhoe

167 COMMENTS

  1. This is so wrong! This is mental and emotional abuse, why do you encourage people to act this way? Grown up way of dealing with this is conversation and compassion, not this kind of abuse.

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    • Genuine question/thought…If it was infidelity…why do you feel like you deserve a response? You’ve destroyed the most important trait in a relationship, trust. Is it so YOU, the perpetrator, can have closure? Any apology after lying/infidelity carries no weight. The trust is lost, so how can you expect your ex to accept an apology?

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    • I like the advice. I am older and tried all the other routes b4. Which of course only prolonged the agony. A guy will always be where he want to be. If he wants to be with you. He will. They are all very selfish creatures.

  2. This kind of behavior is cruel and abusive. Silence can feel like a dignified, high road response but it’s not. It’s a way to inflict pain but without the physical marks.

  3. What if you you are getting the silent treatment from your boyfriend of 2 years, and you know that you hurt and disappointed him. I’ve written him for 3 weeks, saying I’m sorry, admitting I was a jerk, even tried to lighten it up some and just write about daily happenings. I then started questioning him if this one event was the end of our relationship, how could we be friends and not talk, and how many times do I need to say I’m sorry.No answer. Should I stop trying to communicate? Not knowing what is on his mind is killing me. I don’t even know if we are still friends as far as he is concerned. What should I do?

    • Mary, my heart goes out to you. I can definitely relate. You admitted that you were a jerk. You are the only one that knows your own behavior, and to question his behavior towards your questions. To illustrate, question your very own existence. And ask yourself,” why do we inflict pain on ourselves and others”? Why do we demand attention from the ones we emotionally hurt or they emotionally hurt us? When you really reflect on your own behavior and not theirs, but yours. You will know exactly when its time to walk away and not look back.

    • Silence. Silence. The more you try talking to him, the more you look stupid and desperate.if he really loved you, you wouldn’t be begging him for a response, he would have responded already.stop hurting yourself.

    • Leave him alone. Stop texting him because you are only tormenting yourself. Love yourself. If he truly cared for you he wouldn’t be treating you this way.

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  5. What does it mean when you’re in a relationship and talk then a few weeks later you stare at each other but not hang out. Another year comes by and you still see each other he calls you his nickname to you and just stares at you and not talk to you

  6. Thanks for promoting cruelty. My ex cut me off and would not talk to me again after apologizing many times. I don’t think you understand what pain feels like and how people do not care at all. Its immature and creates a culture of wanting revenge.

    • Silence is not for revenge. It is to avoid drama and spare yourself from meaningless apologies. Ranting and fighting is immature. Silence is never immature. Once you hurt a person you don’t get to decide when you should be forgiven or get a response. Only a person who was hurt gets to decide if mistake was forgiveable or just another lame apology.

  7. oh cmon guys, dealing with sick person who play coward game like giving silent treatment is easy. just smile and give the silent treatment back at them, but with the different reason, simply because they’re not worthed.

    this type of people conciously give the silent treatment to gain control, or they just bunch of coward, if you keep on contacting them, someday they will answer you, and then back to silent again. and then you become desperate, hopelless etc lol

    so just move on, make your self happy, because this will piss them off.

  8. A lot of the feedeback from this article point out how this is cruel and an immature way to handle a break up, but it really isn’t. It really depends in how the relationship ended and how they treated each other. I believe silence should be given to an ex that ultametly didn’t appreciate you and took you for granted. I did this to someone. The guy I was dating ended things very cruley and said a lot of awful stuff. Our relationship was an emotional rollercoaster, and after a year of trying to work things out, I finally left him. He texted a couple of days ago (from another #, Inblocked him) declaring how he still thought of me blah blah blah. I was so tempted to reply but honestly I stopped myself and thought about the bad things in our relationship. I haven’t replied and I’m not planning on doing so. It’s the hardest thing, but in the long run it is the best feeling, it makes you realize that it really isn’t worth it.

  9. Nobody’s perfect in any relationship. Silent treatment not good. My friends son committed suicide. If only she had responded and they could have talked. It’s just outright wrong.

    • I agree with you I have had petty friends do this to me if I fell out with one she would go around in talks with them and although they had nothing to do with it or the argument they simply unfriended me or blocked me on social media and wouldn’t say why. But it was devastating the cruelty of it and lack of backbone or understanding of other friends so easily swayed by one lying girl. It made me suicidal even to this day it bothers me and upsets me. However with this article i have an ex who cheated on me and would go for bouts of not speaking to me when he was playing away and trying to distance himself whilst he was messing around in work and then to come back into contact when only when he chose to, to try & get back with me. Then he would do the same thing over. This went on for over a year with different women and whilst he was in the army. It broke me and made me suicidal the mind games and hot and cold. He did it one more time and I found out about the other woman he’d been playing for 6 months she was oblivious and still is. He contacted me thinking I’d respond and do you know what I did?? For all it was worth and all the pain he put me through and the time I was wasting of my own life physically hurt, emotions were that strong I couldn’t put it all into expressions nor would I think he’d ever understand. I just ignored him. I did it for myself. Things were that bad. I was so depressed on meds so call it self preservation It was that easy to do and I left him hanging. It’s not cruel on him in them circumstances I tell you that now. It is justifiable and I was dealing with a narcissistic man. It’s the only way I came to have any sense of peace or to get my point across. Silence speaks but use wisely in the right situation. Emotional bullying isn’t right but it works a wall of silence in defence trust me. The best thing is I don’t want him back now instead of trying to say how you feel it isn’t enough

      • Like me it seems you are an empath. You attract narcissists. I have been attracting these type of people too. Silent treatment only works when you have to protect yourself in the end, but during a relationship it is abusive, childish and it is quite damaging.

  10. I gave my girlfriend everything all my love, my heart, my body, my soul and she hurt me over and over again till I finally had enough. I left her but after a short while I discovered she’s with someone else and it was tearing me apart that i could not endure it but to find a solution which i did by contacting a man named Dr.Mack by his email address dr.mac@yahoo. com, after 3 days, my relationship was resolved, my girlfriend is mine again and she is never gonna leave again, i am so excited
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  13. This is the favorite tool of the narcissist or passive-aggressive individual. It is selfish. You tell someone, especially if it is someone you’ve been in good standing with for a long time, what the problem is and discuss it like adults. If that doesn’t work, you state the reasons why you are ending a relationship and let them know there will be no more communication. The silent treatment is nothing but a 4-year-old’s coping mechanism and says much worse of you than any message you might send with your silence. Please grow up.

    • Deborah, I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years. He would get mad about something, wouldn’t tell me why and then I’d get the silent treatment for 2 to 3 days. I would keep texting asking what I did wrong (it was usually something so ridiculous) and when he would finally tell me, he would explode with anger from holding it all in. And then we’d be broken up for 1 to 2 to 3 weeks sometimes with him giving me the silent treatment. I recently moved in with him and the last problem, I don’t say fight because it’s not a fight, it goes directly into silent mode, he threw me out of the house. It’s been 6 weeks and I still don’t even know what happened. He will not answer my texts. I’ve finally given up trying to find out. It is the most damaging thing you can do to a person, all I wanted to know was what happened. It’s the worst feeling in the world.

  14. Well, my girlfriend did that silent treatment. Man did she get a surprise. Moment she did that. I waited one week. Picked up phone, called one of her friends who is far more attractive. Dated her and pfff, she was out of my mind, just like that.

    Now she was texting, calling, leavng messages, and my final hit? I got a new girlfriend to pick up phone to say, “sorry dear, but he’s fucking me tonight. I love silent treatment! I always wanted to date him and now I am..”

    Thank you silent treatment. Keep going girls. You’re doing us guys a big favour. It’s the easiest way to walk away from you. It’s paradise out there!

  15. Three weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. it all started when I Travel to UK to spend my holiday with my Uncle, I was trying to contact him but it was not going through. when I came back from UK I saw him with a lady kissing in his bed room, I was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. I called my friend told her what happened and she introduce me to a spell cater who helped her long time ago. And I contact him and I never believed that the spell will work so easily because I don’t believe in spell or anything called magical because I have contacted many spell casters to get him back all they do is to take my money with no result. I am happy to tell you that my boyfriend is back and committed to me alone and he do whatever I ask him to do with love and care. All thanks to dr_mack@yahoo. com the great magician who helped me to restore my boyfriend to me. I am Melissa.

  16. You people need to know that this article is right on! You wanna live in misery your whole life over a guy who don’t care about you then be my guest! I do what this article is writing about and it works! Be miserable or be strong and not a frigging doormat, it’s not cruel, isn’t it cruel when they cheat on you and ignore you? Do it right back. End of story.. Buh bye.

  17. This has to be the most horrible advice I have heard. Silent treatments are abusive and quite damaging in a relationship.

    The only time you can use this method is if the relationship is over and you have been so wronged by your partner. Now my ex thinks she is justified to do this to me but the the things is she did this to me since day 1. Everytime we had a disagreement instead of communicating she would vanish and give the silent treatment. For me it was emotional torture, infuriated me and just made the problems worse. In the relationship, never I mean give the silent treatment.

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  19. Guy here – please continue to encourage women to give us the silent treatment. It’s the only way we can get some peace and quiet. Plus, it gives us every right to ghost her and claim that she was the one who dumped us. Remember – every guy’s dream is to figure out a way to get his girlfriend to dump him. That way we’re off the hook and it’s your fault! Enjoy your cats!

    • Silent treatment is unacceptable only during relationships. Once the relationship is over and a person is wronged and hurt no words or fake apologies can heal it and moving on silently is the best. If you are only blaming women by being sarcastic then let me tell you once the relationship is over we don’t care who initiated the breakup or who gets the blame. All we care about is to get some space for few days and starting dating again. No one has the time and interest to play blame game after an ugly breakup.

    • Since centuries guys have used silence as their weapon and many guys are more nagging than women can ever be. Both types of people exist in both genders and since you lack that basic sense that itself proves your immaturity.

  20. I agree on everything you said but only if you made your article goes both ways ( male to female /female to male) because it can go both ways and i’m saying this based on a personal story . Thank you for this nice article .

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  22. After all have been said, after all have been done, after all the anxieties and frustration, after all the abuse of not being given the courtesy of a fair explanation or answer to “why”, SILENCE IS the best and safest, most humane way to handle, because obviously, communication Failed somewhere. I AGREE with you %110. Life. simply. goes. on.

  23. This is really gem of an advice. Guys choose silence and make it their weapon so why can’t we do the same. Thanx alot for this

  24. I have been dating this guy for roughly 3years and he adores me very much, I so much trust him but I found out last month that he has sidechick(s). I told him and he still doesn’t apologise, he said I should deal with it just because I went to his place and I didn’t say it to his face, I told him over the phone. What should I do please? Help a sister

  25. I’ve been “ghosted” before and it was terrible. However, it was by an ex, not my boyfriend so, whatever. It was understandable. The silent treatment should be reserved for an ex and not for those in a committed relationship. If you are in a committed relationship then the silent treatment will do more harm than good. But if you are moving on from an unhealthy relationship then by all means, give them the silent treatment to help yourself heal.

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  28. What a horrible piece of advice, totally immature !
    Even if you had two cents worth of knowledge, you would understand that a “silent treatment” is a form of abuse. It would be much more mature and telling to talk things out and end the relationship. How you deal with an another when the waters are choppy is a sure way of telling of the person that you are ! The objective is to do yourself good than extract some perceived revenge that is only going to make you a miserable person in the longer run.

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    ..

  41. The occurrences in my marriage wasn’t clear, I invested emotionally and I don’t see the positive impacts. I prayed for a husband that could remind me of the good he sees in me, a husband that can make me laugh and also boost my mood.
    The introduction of spell to my hunt saved my marriage. Dr. Wakina looked at the happenings from a different angle before solving the puzzle. He totally handled the event like the master he is. It was emotional for me seeing us reach beyond the invisible boundaries in our marriage.
    My husband is in support of this story, so I’m not compromising my integrity because the spell toss on us was a goodwill spell.
    “Share your story to liberate a relationship” was the word said to me by Dr. Wakina after he successfully completed a unity spell that brought us back after 9 months and 4 days. He found the enduring solution to my negative marital events via his email dr. wakinalovetemple @gmail. com. I bless the day I read the story that lead me to Dr. Wakina.

  42. Thanks Dr. Todd! My lover is back. I ordered the ULTIMATE LOVE SPELL and it took only 5 days to work… I feel so happy. I hope to get married soon! Todd’s contact manifest spell cast @ gmail. com..

  43. HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A SPELL CASTER EMAIL PRIEST WISDOM ON SUPERNATURALSPELL1@GMAIL. COM

  44. I want to first assure you readers, that there is no situation without a solution. Don’t leave that your horrible marriage you are almost fed up with…instead of running, why not stand to fight peace into it?? There is no strong marriage that has true love that is without a fight, and there is also no marriage that is without the experience of sweet and sour. With the one I experience, that I thought it’s finished there is nothing anybody can do about it. It’s was so hopeless to that level that I never believe it can be restored back again. God directed me to and open my eyes that those errors and mistakes in marriage if been corrected, these are the things that makes a strong marriage. With Dr Mack, I was able to get him back, after 2yrs of total separation. During before that time I got him back…I have no life without him and can’t imagine myself laying into another man arms after I have already spend so much years in a relationship with my husband before we now finally got married with the help of the great jai mata osa sunlight…and that was when I noticed, that we women, we are the cause of most of our problems. And I want to give you an insight prove for that…most of our ladies are lucky with good men who truly have love in their heart; and almost of them don’t the value gift of a good man. while others, are sorrowing love over a man who doesn’t love them. Pls, readers. If you read this comment and you have been facing sorrow with your love one’s, I want to tell you that, the end of that sorrow and misery is done. Dr Mack, is the key you need to open every close doors of happiness, rejoice, love and satisfaction into that you relationship. I will help you by leaving her email below” contact her and cry to her for help. and let her help you to get out of that misery you don’t belong to. dr.mack201 @gmail. com is her direct email and she will reply back and help you with whatever problems you want her help for. And pls be obedient to follow instructions.. thanks to you the great mother of love.

  45. Hi viewers, My husband left me because I have lived with Herpes Simplex Virus for two (2) years and I’ve been praying to God for divine intervention for my healing and for the return of my husband. But each time i go for test the result remains positive. I then stopped going for further tests and i was directed to Lord Zakuza by my friend in Africa and i got connected to the Doctor and i dived at the instructions that was given to me by Lord Zakuza and he assured me that the virus was going to leave me within 7 days and that my husband will be back too. I believed and had faith in him for i really needed his help. Lo and behold i went for test after 7 days and for the first time, the result was NEGATIVE and immediately, i got a call from husband that’s he’s home waiting for me. I’m so thankful to God for using Lord Zakuza to save my life & my home. For urgent help of any type, contact Lord Zakuza now via his Email: doctorzakuzaspelltemple @hotmail. com

  46. I need my ex back with the help of a spell caster and save my marriage urgent bring back boyfriend/girlfriend also stop divorce 2019 contact ancientspiritspellcast@ gmail. com

  47. Thanks Dr. Todd! My lover is back. I ordered the ULTIMATE LOVE SPELL and it took only 5 days to work… I feel so happy. I hope to get married soon! Todd’s contact manifestspellcast@ gmail. com

  48. My lover is back.… I feel so happy. contact relationshiphelpcenter@ outlook. com to bring your Ex lover back

  49. Some reviews helped me resolve my relationship issues. I’m so excited to also share mine. My lover, our friends and families are all happy for my brave work to get him back. Since after the spell, we’ve excelled beyond measure. 9 months after breakup, my ex was still hunting me inside even when I moved on 2 months after. I couldn’t get him off my mind. I decided one day to look over Facebook to see his face again. I was wounded inside again after seeing how gorgeous and happy he was. I’ve always know he’s my soul mate before the issues that caused our breakup. We do better together because we motive each other. The reviews I carefully read about Dr. Mack gave me great hope and assurance that it’s not too late to get back my soul mate. Dr.Mack proved to me after the love spell that the reviews about him and his spell are correct after bringing back my Hero within 4 days of powerful spell work. You might be the next person to share some exulting reviews or stay anonymous if you like after contacting Dr. Mack for his genuine love spell via__________________________(relationshiphelpcenter@outlook. com) /…………..

  50. Some reviews helped me resolve my relationship issues. I’m so excited to also share mine. My lover, our friends and families are all happy for my brave work to get him back. Since after the spell, we’ve excelled beyond measure. 9 months after breakup, my ex was still hunting me inside even when I moved on 2 months after. I couldn’t get him off my mind. I decided one day to look over Facebook to see his face again. I was wounded inside again after seeing how gorgeous and happy he was. I’ve always know he’s my soul mate before the issues that caused our breakup. We do better together because we motive each other. The reviews I carefully read about Dr. Mack gave me great hope and assurance that it’s not too late to get back my soul mate. Dr.Mack proved to me after the love spell that the reviews about him and his spell are correct after bringing back my Hero within 4 days of powerful spell work. You might be the next person to share some exulting reviews or stay anonymous if you like after contacting Dr. Mack for his genuine love spell via__________________________(loverelationshiphelpcenter@gmail. com) /…………..

  51. I NEED AN URGENT AND GREAT LOVE SPELL CASTER TO BRING BACK MY EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND 2019 ancientspiritspellcast@ gmail .com

  52. Thanks Dr. Todd! My lover is back. I ordered the ULTIMATE LOVE SPELL and it took only 5 days to work… I feel so happy. I hope to get married soon! Todd’s email: manifest spell cast @ gmail. com

  53. Save your marriage divorce and breakup today with the help of a great online spell caster email: assurancesolutionhome@gmail com

  54. my ex did this to me.
    there was an argument, after months of him playing games with my head.making me feel that everything was my fault, even when I knew he had done wrong, I was still the one in tears feeling like I had done something wrong.
    so this final argument was bad.
    he carried on talking to me , dangling a carrot in front of me,letting me think we could fix things, kept playing games, this went on for a week or two. I was a mess, I had the universe on my shoulders. I was anxious. I didn’t know if I was coming or going. one minute I was hopeful, the next I was in bits.
    then I had a go at him. telling him what he was doing was cruel and emotional abuse. he didn’t like that,so then he gave me the silent treatment.
    that hurt even more because he wouldn’t acknowledge what he had done.
    then it hit me. if he wouldn’t respond to me, why should I contact him. he doesn’t care. he was an awful person. this has highlighted that. it’s over.
    amd though it killed me knowing he didn’t care. that it was over. I changed my phone number so he couldn’t contact me if he changed his mind. amd from that point on, I couldn’t contact him if I wanted to because then he would have my new number.
    the silent treatment,although it hurt, helped me get over it so much quicker.
    took me about 3 weeks to get that relationship out of my head and heart and see him for what he really is .

    so from the receiving end of silent treatment-it really helped me get over it.

  55. I hope manifest spell cast @ gmail.com will help will help you get your lover back, he helped me get my boyfriend back, thank you for helping me !Thanks for everything! everything worked!

  56. I get back with my ex husband with the help of Dr Oniha, anyone who needs relationship help should contact Dr Oniha on onihaspelltempleATgmailDOTcom or CALL/ WHATSAAP +1(562)469-3086.

  57. Restoration For A Broken Relationship Contact: onihaspellhome@gmail. com or whatsaap number +1 562 469-3086. for Effective powerful love spell to get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce

  58. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try this: drdodotemple @ gmail .com or Him WHATSAPP +2348078351159, copy and message on the following (drdodotemple @ gmail .com ) will change your mentality and get you what you want.

  59. After being in relationship with him for 5 years,my bf broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but

    all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made

    promises but he refused, on a wonderful day i was going through the internet, i came across a testimony of a girl who said

    DR GARBON helped wit her relationship, at first i thought it was some sort of scam but i decided to try and i contacted DR

    GARBON, to cut the story short, to my greatest suprise DR GARBON did the spell and my bf returned in 32hrs ( the next day)

    begging for me to forgive and accept him, i am so happy and i accepted him, we are happy and he even proposed to me, you

    can also contact DR GARBON if you are having relationship problems.

    via email: drgarbonspellhome2gmail.com

    whatsapp: +2348168745537.

    name: janice
    country: uk

  60. I was having issue with my boyfriend, he was always lying to me, keeping secrete, flirting around, i love him and wanted him to change but it got worst that he have to break up and left me heart broken, i was out of my mind, i wanted him back because i want to get married to him in feature, i could not fall in love again b’cos my heart still beat for him, i was lucky that my problem became history, i was able to find someone who could help me and it was Robinson Buckler, i contacted him on {WHATS_APP him +1(305)-928-6455}! and fortunately he was able to bring my boyfriend back and my boyfriend is now a changed man and he is ready to marry me as soon as possible

  61. I never believed in Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster called DR DEGBONO.. The man i wanted to marry left me 3 months to our wedding ceremony and my life was upside down.he was with me for 4 years and i really love him so much..he left me for another woman with no reasons..when i called him, he never picked up my calls and he don’t want to see me around him…so,when i told the man what happened. he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other woman has done some spells over my Husband and that is the reason why he left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell to bring him back. At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try…In 4 days, My Husband called me himself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe he can ever come back to me again but now i am happy he’s back and we are married now and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum if anyone needs the help of this man.Can contact him through this Call/Whatsapp +14696301798

  62. After spending hours searching the internet about how to get my lover back i was glad that i contacted Dr.Iboe. Without wasting much time i would like to write out the details of Dr.Iboe whose details has done a lot of people a huge favor, They via email: driboespell@gmailcom Or WhatsAPP +1(862) 2009865

  63. The silent treatment is not very smart. You piss somebody off bad enough but not even giving them an explanation as to why you’re not talking to them or why you’re ending the relationship. And they’re libel to fuck you up or fuck your vehicle up ! That’s not a real smart idea !

  64. Love Spells- How I Got My Husband Back.Read more about Dr Sambo his contact details seen below: divinespellhome@gmail. com

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