Whoever told you that Santa Claus isn’t real, will be receiving coal in their stocking this year! As the harsh, cold winds of college finals blow in along with scattered storms of teetering grades, every college student prepares themselves as if it were the apocalypse. With this being said, everybody has their own way of seeking help but what’s a better way than getting out some colored paper and pens and writing a long, descriptive letter of help to good ol’ Santy Claus? The man has waited for you to write him all year, so get to writing.
How to construct a homemade card to Santa:
For this project you will need:
1 stressed college student (gender doesn’t matter)
2 pieces of construction paper of any color (write two to insure the elves get your letter to Santa…he does check his list twice)
1 pack of markers or crayons
1 $100 (bribe, I mean reward Santa for all of his hard work)
Start with a genuine greeting like so:
Dear_________, (anything you find appropriate)
Do you remember me? I’m ____(age) now and I know it’s been a while but I really need__________(object) for Christmas.
Next is the topics of interest. This is the most important part of the message as it is the “body” of the letter.
This year I have been very _______________(adj.) With all these ___________(adj.) finals, I’m starting to become really tired and stressed. I really like to have _________(warm drink) and ____________(snack food) on my breaks but that just isn’t helping me get by. I am writing to ask you to help me get ____________(crush’s name). This would complete my Christmas!
This is also another important part. You need to recognize that Santa’s hard work will bring happiness to every child around the world, but you also need to stress that you are in desperate need for your Christmas wishes to be answered, badly.
I’m sure your remember that one time when I hid __________(gross object) in my roommates __________(location) but I said I was sorry. And I’m sure you remember when I skipped class at _______(time) and watched Netflix instead but, I’ve changed.
You know though Santa, have you been working out because you look ________(adj.) I hope you have a __________(fun description) trip here. I’ll be waiting for you. *wink wink*
Closer. This can be whatever you want, followed by your beautiful signature.
There you have it. A simple way to get in touch with Santa while also saving your grades. Santa is a great guy and unless you have been bad, your wish list shouldn’t be passed up. Warm up with some hot coco and get to writing.
Happy holidays ya filthy animals.
Featured Image via screengrab of A Christmas Story.