After my first breakup at the ripe age of 15, when the 7-month love affair concluded I walked home holding tears back in my throat and decided that I would be over him in 3 and a half weeks.
My young, innocent self had created an equation that however many months I was with someone should be converted into weeks and then divided by 2, and that was how long one should spend grieving over a breakup.
This was where I first went wrong;
never set a time frame for yourself.
Needless to say, a month went by and seeing him with another girl made my stomach turn and I felt not only heartbroken but also like I had let myself down.
“You will never get over it, but you will get used to it,” I had to tell myself as I watched him pull her close during one of my favorite songs at the homecoming dance four months after he broke up with me.
However, I did get over that breakup eventually, but I anticipate having relationships that last longer than 7 months in the future that will impact my life outside of the high school cafeteria.
After I’ve experienced a few other breakups, I have learned that the first few weeks are the most crucial because it’s in your hands to decide how long you will let this setback and pain to control you.
So here are some things to remember when you are left feeling as if your world has just crumbled under your feet:
You need to feel better for yourself; don’t worry about catering to plans with friends or how he absolutely needs to come by to pick up a phone charger he left at your house a few months ago.
If you’re not up to it, say no.
Break-ups suck; you’re the one who has to get through it, be fair to yourself.
Yes, he and his friends may engage in a conversation regarding your cattiness and immaturity, but trust me, that is better than checking your phone at 11:30 on a Friday night when you are almost asleep to see a Snapchat story of him doing body shots off of some girl at the bar.
Drink, or Don’t
Going out and getting drunk might be a remedy for you, but it could also just be adding fuel to the flame. You know yourself best so be honest, even if your girlfriends are saying you need a girl’s night out, but you know that it will end with you crying all night and waking up nursing both a hangover and a breakup, maybe you should pass on the drunken night out.
Break ups are gruesome, tiring, and painful. There’s simply no way around it. You can hear “time heals all wounds” and “if I got through it so will you” from everyone – and trust me, everyone will have a story and piece of advice for you; take the advice, it might not help but it can’t hurt.
You will get through it…let yourself cry, cut the charger he left at your house and claim to have lost it, and let the punching bag at the gym feel your wrath a couple hundred times. But please remember, these feelings will subside, and one day hearing his name is not going to make your heart feel as if it just fell out of your chest, always try to keep that in the back of your head.
Featured Image Via Brandy Melville.