Why I’m Waiting Until Marriage To Have Sex For The First Time


Waiting until marriage to have sex has been both an unspoken and spoken rule for a long time.

Religion, culture or family values have reinforced this idea for centuries. While waiting to have sex was once a common occurrence for people, it’s becoming less popular and more prudish as generations pass. Even though multiple people my age already lost their virginity long before marriage or without even considering marriage, I plan to stay a virgin until I marry… but not for the reasons that you may think.

In my freshman year of high school, my grouchy health teacher spent an entire class period lecturing on the importance of being a “pure, shiny, perfect gift” for our husbands on our wedding day. She then presented two bags – a birthday bag with a pretty bow and an old fast-food carry-out bag, crumpled and greasy from the food that was once inside. We all knew that in her eyes, people who waited until marriage are “beautiful gifts,” while people who don’t are the trashy, cheap, greasy carry-out bag that no one wants. What an analogy, huh? Way to make people feel good about themselves… not. 

Her lecture angered me, but I still plan on keeping my virginity until I marry.

However, the reasoning behind my decision has nothing to do with being a “gift” for my husband or being viewed as a “cheap,” “greasy,” or “trashy” person. I simply believe that sex that connects two people emotionally like nothing else can. I obviously want to have this connection with my future husband only, whoever he may be. So I want to hold out on having sexual encounters with people until I find him. Besides, personally, I believe that marriages bring two people together as one. What better way to continue the celebration than “connecting” on your wedding night? 

I won’t judge anyone who has had sex or isn’t waiting until marriage. I refuse to be like my teacher and make people, especially girls and women, feel like literal trash because they chose sex before marriage. Everyone is different and needs to do what is right for them. I respect that waiting until marriage isn’t for everyone, but I also know that it’s right for me.

Featured Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash.


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