Everyone who knows me knows that wine is my favorite thing to drink. In high school, my best friend and I would have weekly wine nights and everyone laughed at us but apparently now wine is trendy amongst millennials. We’ve known for years that wine is an all-encompassing magical health drink, and I’m about to share its magic with the world. I am fully convinced that wine is healthy, and here’s why:
- There is no specified time to drink wine. Wine is okay at all times of the day. Ran out of coffee? Just mix rosé with OJ and some fruit and you have a lovely little sangria to go with your toast. Perfect.
- Wine cannot make you fat. It’s fat free, and it actually helps you burn calories so what’s the point in drinking anything else? Drink wine on the treadmill- DOUBLE THE CALORIES BURNED (probably… doesn’t hurt to try).
- Wine drunk is the BEST kind of drunk: the world becomes your dancefloor and you love everything and everyone. The world is just a really good place after a bottle of wine. Mental health– duh.
- Wine naturally has immune boosting powers. Heck ya. Magic. *drops mic*
- Wine is FULL of antioxidants which is what everyone needs on a daily basis… why not get double the amount by drinking double the wine?
- It’s so much more socially acceptable to drink wine out of the bottle than it is to drink tequila out of the bottle… trust me, I’ve done both… many times.
- Wine lowers your cholesterol… lower cholesterol lessens your chances for heart disease, which essentially means that wine can save your life.
- WINE HELPS PREVENT CANCER. No explanation needed, ladies and gentlemen.
- Wine helps you retain more information. Hello, 4.0 GPA. Harvard Law, you can accept me at any time.
- Last but DEFINITELY not least, red wine boosts your sex drive. Its scent and flavor has sex drive boosting powers. Heck ya x2. Sorry dad.
Wine is beautiful. Wine is happiness. Wine is everything you need in a bottle. I’m a self-proclaimed health freak so naturally, I am willing to do whatever it takes to put my health first, and if that means that I can drink a lot of wine and get away with it, that’s totally okay with me. Anything to validate my wine consumption is a fun time for Yunesta, and maybe I won’t have to lie to my doctor so often about it if everyone knew the benefits to this lovely grape beverage. Now I know I’m not the only one who needs wine to survive, and to everyone else like me, you’re welcome, friends.
Featured Image via Tumblr.