I’ve been pale my entire life. I do not tan; my collection of freckles only grows exponentially each time I enter the vicinity of the sunshine. Whenever my friends want to tan, I usually just have to awkwardly sit there under a hat and an umbrella like my grandma in Boca. Getting spray tans before pool parties has become a ritual, and I’ve easily spent multiple thousands of dollars on self-tanning products throughout my lifetime. The color of my skin has been more of a burden to me than anything. As hard as I try to work with it, sometimes I just can’t. But since a betch never admits her shortcomings, I’m still learning to accept my paleness. Here are some of the lies I tell myself about why it’s okay to not be tan.
- Skin Cancer is Very Real
Melanoma is among one of the fastest-rising skin cancers, especially where people with prolonged sun exposure are concerned. Apparently nearly one person dies of melanoma every hour. An estimated 3,000 people will die of the disease this year. These startling facts are proof that staying out of the sun not only prevents sunspots and tanlines, but it also has the potential to save your life.
- Spray Tans are Like, Kind of Okay
If you really can’t adjust to your natural paleness, airbrush tans are here to uplift you. The average spray tan only sets you back about $20-$30. That’s basically the same as all the moisturizers you’ll need to buy to keep your tan up and pennies compared to the future of medical bills that come along with skin cancer.
- Celebrities: They’re Pale Like Us
- Tanning Makes You Leathery
It is no secret that excess sun exposure has some potentially serious consequences. Among the disadvantages of regular tanning are extra wrinkles and sun spots. While leopard print is chic on your clothes, it’s not on your skin. All of these things affect the inside just as much as the outside. Serious physical deformities as a result of too much sun damage include plastic surgery and mole removal.
- You’re Hot Whether You’re Tan or Not!
Breaking news: you do not need a tan in order to be sexy. The most potent, attractive, and appealing quality is confidence. Rock, love, and embrace what you have and you won’t be disappointed. And, if all else fails, just run to the store and grab some Jergen’s.
To all the pale betches in the world: You’re not alone. While all those other bronzed-beach beauties effortlessly tan in one sitting, just remember that pale is pretty and we should all love the skin we’re in. So embrace those big sun hats and bask on the beach (under an umbrella)! And, if you find that your paleness is too Casper the Friendly Ghost-esque, there’s always some self tanner. Go for the glow, girl.