This is an open letter to that jerk who broke our hearts. The one who played us, used us, cheated on us, lied to us, and completely destroyed us. You knew damn well what you were doing. You knew damn well who and what you were breaking. And I would love to curse you out for every heart you broke (including mine), and every heart you’re going to break, but I won’t. Instead, I’ll just say…
I know what you’re thinking, and no ‘fuck you’ did not autocorrect to ‘thank you’. I meant to say that. Don’t worry. I’m not mad about it anymore. Here’s why…
Thank you for making me feel unappreciated and worthless.
In the end you only made me stronger.
Thank you for that time you raised your hand and threatened to hit me.
Now I can defend myself and will continue to help those who are in abusive relationships.
Thank you for first-handedly showing me the way I should never be treated, by anyone, ever.
You made my skin thicker and helped me to deal with harsh criticism with ease.
Thank you for avoiding our problems instead of trying to work things out.
It taught me to know when I need to walk away.
Thank you for always lying to me.
It only made me better at catching them.
Thank you for sending me on an emotional roller-coaster for all that time.
I realized that I am a forgiving person no matter the circumstances and that I can love unconditionally.
Thank you for breaking me.
I learned to run like hell in order to escape you.
Thank you for hating my friends.
Now I know it was all because they were everything you weren’t. They were decent human beings and are still standing by my side.
Thank you for breaking my heart, spirit, and faith in love and all of humanity.
I rebuilt a better me who knows her self worth.
Thank you for making me despise all men after you.
I learned who was in it for the real thing and who cared enough to break down those walls I quickly put up after you.
Thank you for cheating on me.
It was one of the best things you could have ever done for me. It made it so much easier to walk away from you.
And finally, thank you for giving me my freedom back.
In all that time I spent reflecting on what happened, I figured out what I want out of life, and the type of man I want to share my life with. And it’s no longer you.
This isn’t a love note in anyway shape or form. This is a thank you note. Thank you for wrecking my world because if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be where I was today, nor would I be the person I am today. I’m sure I can speak for most women, or men (no judgment here), when I say we’re better off without you. You were a lesson, not a blessing, and no longer holding on to you and what hurt us only made room for what makes us happy.
In spite of it all, you taught me to love myself more than anyone could ever love me. You taught me that just because I am head-over-heels in love with you, there are certain things I, without a doubt, cannot settle for. You taught me to forgive those who probably don’t deserve my forgiveness at all. Because of you, I now know what I deserve in life and in future relationships.
You were the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me, but most of all, you were necessary. For all of this, I will forever be grateful, but I no longer need you in my life. Forgiving you is my gift to you. Moving on is my gift to myself.
Yours truly (once),
Melissa and the rest of the heartbroken girls out there
Featured image via Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash