Never Having Sex Again: 50 Thoughts Girls Have When Their Period Is Late

Men truly don’t understand the struggles women go through on a daily basis. We shave, we pluck, we primp, we tuck, and we bleed once a month – that is, IF Mother Nature decides she likes us that day. She can be a real bitch sometimes.

Everyone knows that women tend to overthink everything, like what he actually meant when he texted you “sup,” or worry about what or who he’s doing when really he just fell asleep. But the absolutely worst thing women overthink is when their period is late. The thoughts that run through our minds and the emotions we feel are literally all over the place. Here’s a rundown of the 50 thoughts that cross our mind when out monthly visitor isn’t on time:

1. I’m totally pregnant!

2. I can’t be pregnant! I’m still a baby myself!

3. Okay, calm down, it’s not that bad. I’m only 2 days late.

4. Maybe something is wrong with me…

5. Or maybe it’s like stuck or something.


6. No, I’m definitely pregnant.

7. God, I need to stop worrying, stress only delays your period even more.

8. Would my friends still talk to me?

9. My parents would be so ashamed of me.

10. Which friend would be my baby’s godmother?


11. Maybe I should take a test!

12. Who am I going to call after I take it?

13. I don’t want to buy it though…

14. Then it might say positive, and then I would definitely die.

15. Well maybe it wouldn’t be so bad…


16. What if they looked like me?

17. Oh god, what if they turned out to be just like me?

18. Nah, I can’t be pregnant. There’s no way that would happen to me.

19. Alright, I need to calm the hell down.

20. If I get my period now, I will literally never have sex again.


21. Well, that’s a big old bag of lies…but I’ll be really happy if I do.

22. What if the baby looks like him?

23. Aww…that would be really cute.

24. Should I tell him that this could actually be a thing?

25. God, no. I definitely shouldn’t tell him.


26. That would freak him out.

27. But what if it doesn’t?

28. He’ll make a good dad one day…

29. He’s so funny and protective.

30. Wait, what if he’s not ready to be a dad?


31. Maybe my period will come tomorrow.

32. God, I hope it comes tomorrow.

33. Why don’t guys have to deal with this?

34. Maybe this is why I’ve been eating so much. And I did feel kind of nauseous this morning…

35. I do look and feel bloated, too.


36. Oh man, I gained 2 pounds this week.

37. How long does it take to start gaining baby weight?

38. Could that be the baby?

39. Oh god, I drank so much last night, too.

40. I wonder what I would look like pregnant. What will everyone think of me?


41. Would I still be cute and stylish?

42. No, I don’t think I’ll ever be as hot as Blake Lively (pregnant or not).

43. Dammit!

44. I really need to start tracking my fertility.

45. When did I have sex again?


46. I mean at least if I was pregnant, I would know who the father is…

47. Alright, I’m done worrying about it.

48. I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.

49. It’s just running a little late. We all do it sometimes.

50. Wait, but what if I really am pregnant?


Sound familiar? Yeah, I bet it does. Those are the thoughts that eat us alive. But when we do finally get our period, we’re so happy we could cry, and sometimes we actually do. Now, go make some terrible life decisions so we can do this next month all over again. Or…just be extra safe next time 🙂

Featured Image via screen grab from A Haunted House 2


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