Ladies, it’s that time of the month again. Mother Nature is dropping in at the worst possible moment, which means the next 5-7 days will pretty much suck. We’ve all been there (every 28-ish days), so we’re all familiar with our thoughts that run through our heads while we’re on our periods.
1. Well, shit. It’s that time again.
2. At least I’m not pregnant! That’s a good thing!
3. Do I have enough tampons? Do I awkwardly need to get tampons at the pharmacy?
4. Time to break out my old underwear I don’t care about.
5. I feel like a whale. I’m literally a bloated whale.
6. How did I gain 10 pounds in one day? Seriously.
7. Guess I’m wearing baggy shirts so no one can tell I’m having a fat week.
8. Oh, hello cramps! So nice of you to join me during class!
9. My uterus literally feels like it’s being stabbed.
10. WHY DOES MY BODY HATE ME?!
11. I actually feel like I’m bleeding out.
12. This is disgusting. Make it stop.
13. I guess I won’t be having sexy time for the next couple days.
14. Unless my S.O. isn’t cool with that…
15. Never mind, please no one touch me. I feel gross.
16. I have as many zits as a pubescent teen boy. Awesome.
17. Why do my boobs hurt? Like why?
18. They’re just so tender.
19. But they do seem kinda bigger. That’s a plus.
20. Chocolate. Now.
21. Followed by fries, potato chips, and pizza.
22. God, I’m so HUNGRY.
23. I’m just feeling really sensitive right now.
24. What’s wrong with a good cry? Everyone needs a good cry.
25. I don’t even know why I’m crying.
26. I just want to crawl into a ball and die.
27. Wait…I think it’s over!
28. Just kidding! Ruined another pair of jeans.
29. Guys have it so easy.
30. This is literally the worst thing ever. Besides giving birth, of course. *shudder*
31. Well, at least it’s only once a month right?
May your cramps be occasional and your periods be short. Oh the joys of womanhood.