When you start dating someone, it can feel like a whirlwind of emotions. There is the excitement of meeting someone new, the confidence boost from someone showing romantic interest in you, and the nervousness as you learn to open up to them.
But it also comes with its own set of challenges, such as introducing your new partner to your loved ones. So, how exactly should you go about it?
Theresa’s Experience
When I first started dating my ex, who is also a woman, I was very hesitant to tell my mom and my closest friends. It was not only my first lesbian relationship but also my first serious, adult one. My mom, though not deeply religious, has a wavering faith. So I felt she would become the most “faithful” she’s been after I shared the news. I was nervous to tell my friends because I feared they would project stereotypes typically associated with lesbians and lesbian relationships. (UHaul jokes anyone?)
The reality is that when I did share, the conversations went better than expected. But I also made sure to wait until I was ready.
When you share your relationship with your support system, it can trigger a different set of emotions. Usually, our loved ones see us as needing protection, wanting what’s best for us. It’s easy for them to remember our past relationships and everything about them: the good, the bad, and mostly, the ugly. They can then be quick to project what happened before and fear that those patterns will happen again.
You may also feel unsure about sharing your new relationship status with your support circle, as you may prefer to simply enjoy the bliss and newness. Whatever you choose is fine; after all, it is your relationship, and the decision to share should be entirely up to you.
Larissa’s Experience
I haven’t been in a relationship for a while, and I am in my mid-30s. I thought I was happy being the single friend, and I was for a long time. However, deep down, I realized that I wanted and needed what my friends had. I believe everyone deserves to experience love, especially for people with disabilities.
I am happy to share that I’m now in a new relationship. I couldn’t be happier right now. a lot of people in my life inclduding family don’t know about this new relationship Although it feels a bit scary, I am also incredibly excited. We’re committed to this journey together, so there’s no going back.
Now, without further ado, let’s get into the tips!
Theresa’s Tips
- Build your confidence.
Amp yourself up and approach the conversation with confidence.
- Take their opinions with a grain of salt.
Understand that much of what they’re saying may reflect projection from your past relationships or their own personal experiences that shape their views.
- Know you are not obligated to share anything at all.
Welcome to adulthood.
- Conversations may not be a one-and-done.
As your relationship progresses and your family has more time to think about it, you can have further conversations. You don’t need to address everything all at once.
Larissa’s Tips
- One by one is better.
It’s better to share the news in smaller groups than with everyone immediately. That way, you don’t have to deal with so many questions at once.
- Less is more.
Your family will want all the details: who, what, where, and why. Ultimately, all they really care about is seeing you happy with this person.
- Set boundaries.
Let your loved ones know that some topics should remain off limits. This is perfectly fine, normal, and healthy.
- Be okay with some family members being upset.
Some people may feel upset that you didn’t share the news right away. However, it’s essential to remember that this is your relationship, and you and your partner can announce any news whenever you feel comfortable.
Enjoy every moment of this new relationship; I know we are! You deserve it. Don’t let anyone dictate how you should feel. People may not always understand or respect your relationship, but as long as you and your partner are happy, just enjoy this. It’s an adventure for both of you!
Be yourself. Be authentic. Enjoy getting to know someone and the fun of the initial “puppy love” stages. Create your own timeline and boundaries.
Written in collaboration with Theresa Faughnan
Featured image via Artyom Lisov on Pexels
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