Should You Get Married If You’ve Only Dated Long Distance?

The answer to the question of getting married to someone you’ve only been dating in a long-distance relationship is an easy one.

It’s the same answer to whether you should marry a person who against your will, just blindfolded you, kidnapped you, took you to a deserted Island, and locked you in a dark room without food.

There are consistent differences between those who jump in and those who explore deeper before tying the knot.

Deciding if you should get married in a long-distance relationship is difficult.

Taking the time to really get to know each other in person is key to having an engagement turn into a successful marriage. You simply don’t know nearly enough about a person to decide to marry them if you’ve only been dating long distance.

Plus, many couples are propelled by overwhelming emotions and attachments (better known as chemistry), which drive them to make a decision that could easily become a train wreck.

This doesn’t mean ditch your long-distance beau. 

But if you love someone and can only think about how life together should be your next step, even though you have only been dating long distance, please slow down, step back, and gather up your senses.

Then proceed with discernment and a huge helping of curiosity to determine if your long-distance relationship can become a lasting one.

You need to get to know each other on a deeper level.

You may have indeed found your life-partner. That said, life together will be that much better when you’ve revealed whether the key ingredients for a long-lasting, healthy relationship truly exist.

Conversely, life will certainly be a lot better if you discover early on that those ingredients are not there, and make a courageous decision to be grateful for whatever love you feel while also passing on a marriage union.

What are the key ingredients for marriage and how do you discover them without clouding your judgment?

1. Physical Features. 

Every relationship has this ingredient. You decide if the person you want to be with has the gender, body, height, shape, strength, agility, looks, and geographical proximity to be a marriage partner. Be thoughtful about your physical desires and needs.

2. Who you are, emotionally and spiritually. 

There’s a ton to discover here, because this takes into account our upbringing, conditioning, traumas, personal and family history, education, finances, beliefs, values, goals, and more. 

3. What you are; a blueprint of what you’re born with and what stays with you through life.

Genetic Energetics defines the frequencies you vibrate at and how these indicate your natural ways of communicating, processing information, dealing with money, and how you sexually engage. It also defines accurately when there will be chemistry, and with whom.

If you are dating long-distance and have yet to meet in person, please invest in discovering as much as possible about your potential life-mate.

It’s an absolute truth that you’re in each other’s life for a reason. That reason hopefully will become a lifetime of amazing discovery, co-creation, inspiration, and joy.

Wouldn’t it make sense to get off on the right foot with a commitment to learning as much as you can before you marry?

The list of things to discover about your partner can be a very long one.

It’s essential to do as much of this in person as possible. Absolutely do not do this by text.

If you have to do some of this process apart from each other, use FaceTime, Zoom, or Skype to communicate. You both need to physically see and hear each other. Words are not enough to truly get to know someone.

Make sure that your vision is not distorted by chemistry.

Chemistry is awesome, but it’s also a deceptive chemically induced persuader. If the chemistry is super high, create some physical distance to discover your own rational thoughts.

If you’re giddy, and infatuated with your potential partner, that’s chemistry. Your brain is technically on drugs.

When you do this pre-marital discovery process well, you may discover the differences are too great. That’s awesome. Stay in a loving place, and wish each other the best. Remain close friends, but don’t get married.

You may also discover that the fit is amazing; your commitment to each other is amplified. You can fully imagine a lifelong journey of continuous growth, expansion, and expression of love. This is beyond awesome.

Having a long-distance relationship is fine. Getting married before you truly know who they are is not.

Getting married when you know who and what they are and can commit with enthusiastic confidence is truly divine.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Originally Posted on YourTango


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